My Stranger Friend
by edwardluver1721
Summary: RE-WRITTEN!My mind can't seem to make up it's mind about him lately Bella wakes up from a coma and can't remember her life. She's been noticing him more lately and her heart skips a beat everytime he's around. are her asumptions about her life right?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey I decided to re-write this story because I didn't like how the first version turn out. I hope you guys like it. I should warn you that even though its an ExB story it will take a while for them to be together so if you don't like seeing Bella with someone else I suggest you think about it. Also please if you aren't going to say anything nice or constructive please don't say anything. **

**Disclaimer I don't own Twilight Stephanie Meyer does... don't you just wish you could have dreams like that?**

I open my eyes and immediately close them again because of the brightness.

" Bella?" I hear a voice ask.

I don't recognize the voice but it sounds friendly and caring so I don't panic.

"Bella?" the voice asks again

I feel a warm hand grab mine. It feels nice and I'm momentarily distracted by it.

Who's this bella? Is it me?

" Bella please honey if you can hear me open your eyes" he pleads. Now I know he's talking to me.

I sigh and slowly open my eyes. It takes a while but my eyes adjust and the first thing I see are the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen.

My heart seems to warms and I think it recognizes him. He's a... friend? I don't know but I do know we're close though.

I was so distracted by his eyes and face and beauty that I hadn't heard what he was saying.

" I'm sorry what were you saying?" I ask it's a bit embarrassing really.

He chuckles softly and I'm almost distracted again by the sound.

" I said that I'm glad you're awake and I also asked how you were feeling. Alice and.."

I cut him off there. Alice? Was that his girlfriend? My heart broke at the thought.

" Alice?" I asked

he looked at me weirdly

" yes Alice your best friend" he started to worry I could see it one his face.

" I'm sorry but I don't know who you're talking about. I...I don't even remember your name...I know we're friends though" I finished smiling hoping it would ease his worry a little. It didn't really work. He got up and began to yelling for a doctor.

" Doctor! I need a Doctor!"

he came back beside me. He took my hand and looked into my eyes and said " don't worry Bella we're going to get you fixed ok" his words were so reassuring and his eyes were ... I don't know how to describe it... calming? That I remained calm.

His hand was sending a warm feeling throughout my body. It was very pleasant and I didn't want to let him go.

" ok" I said simply. I couldn't help smiling at him and when he smiled back my heart seemed to skip a beat.

" god where's the doctor! You'd think that me yelling for a doctor at the top of my lungs would get a fast response" he said looking away.

I chuckled and just when he was about to get up again a doctor came in. He looked old.

" sorry but..." he stopped when he realized that I was awake.

" well hello there Bella glad to see that you're awake how are you feeling sweety"

the boy next to me seemed to understand I wasn't going to talk to the doctor, so he squeezed my hand and answered.

" uh she seems to be fine doc but she can't remember... anything. You don't remember anything do you?" he asked turning to me.

I shook my head. I don't know why but the doctor gave me the creeps.

"Hmmm" was all he said. He looked at some papers at the foot of my bed for a while before coming up to me and looking into my eyes with some weird thing with light. Then he asked me to follow his finger while he moved it.

" well you appear to be fine from what I can see but we'll do some tests to see what's causing your memory loss"

I got scared at the word 'tests'

" can he come with me" I asked. I needed him there.

The doctor seemed shocked

" him?" he asked pointing to the boy next to me

" yes" I answer

" yes sure why not" he seemed bewildered at my request for some reason. Why was it so strange to want my my...friend?

They took me to a big white room where there was this scary looking machine and looked at my brain.

He stayed with me the entire time and I was very grateful to him.

" so uh what's your name?" I asked. I didn't like calling him 'the boy' it was very impersonal.

" Jake" he said laughing

" Jake" I repeated. I liked that name and hearing it caused my heart to skip a beat again. I had a feeling we were more though. I smiled at myself.

" well Jake it's nice to re-meet you" I said.

I heard Jake laugh again but harder this time and it made me smile. He seemed to make me smile a lot.

"Well Bella it's nice to re-meet you as well" I chuckled

" I should've called the doctors as soon as you woke up its just that your beautiful face distracted me."

" you think I'm beautiful?" I asked smiling widely.

"Uh w.." Jake was interrupted by the doctor

" Bella we're going to ask you a couple of questions ok. If you don't know the answers don't worry."

"Ok"

"What's your name?"

" bella?" I answered

" do you know your last name?"

"Uh...No"

"Do you know how old your are?"

" no"

" what color is the room?"

" white"

he proceeded to ask me more questions. Basically the name of things. He seemed to ask personal questions and those I didn't know no matter how hard I thought. He told me not to worry about it. They would come to me later.

Jake kept me calm and I was once again grateful for that because I didn't know what I could do with out him.

After they finished taking the tests they took me back to my room. Once there the doctor told what had happened to me.

My name was Bella Swan and I was 17 years old. I was a senior in high school. What ever that was. My parents were Charlie and Renee Swan. I was in a car accident and had been taken to the hospital. I hadn't had anything other that a blow to the head. I had been unconscious for a couple of weeks.

he told me he couldn't say too much because he didn't want to overwhelm me.

" what about my parents?" I asked. I hadn't seen anyone other than Jake and the doctors and the nurses.

They both looked at me sadly.

" Bella" the doctors began " your parents aren't here. They in Europe and..." the doctor didn't seem how to go on.

" they didn't want to come?" I asked I knew I was kinda new to this but it felt wrong for a parent not be there. I felt it in my heart. It hurt to know that they didn't care yet some part of me was acknowledging that it wasn't anything new.

" this happens a lot doesn't it?" I asked already knowing the answer.

" yes" Jake answered " Bella your parents are never home. Ever since I've known you, you have always been by yourself." he looked at me weirdly.

It took me a while to recognize the look but it was a look of pity. Something I had seen a bunch of times before.

I was knew at this in a way so I couldn't help but start to cry. Jake held me while I cried.

" I'll leave you guys alone" I heard the doctor say

**well that was it. I apologize for the mistakes. I do want to say that this WILL be an Edward and Bella Story it's just going to take a WHILE. Bella will frustrate you and if you don't like seeing Bella with someone other than Edward well I suggest you don't read this story. **

**Please review and tell me what you think. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello readers;**

**I'm back sorry I haven't updated this story but I really want to do this right... I also want to re- iterate that even though this is an Edward and Bella story it will take a while... just saying I don't want to get reviews asking if it's an E&B story or why they're not together patience...**

**Please read and review**

**disclaimer: I didn't have the dream therefore I don't own twilight...darn it!**

Jake held me in his arms while I cried. He held on to me for a long time after I was finished crying as well... he's so sweet.

" I'm sorry Bella" he says

"for what?" I ask.

My voice sounded like a monotone.

" I don't know... for saying it like that...? it's just that you were always so cool with it... that I.."

" Jake it's not your fault... it would've still hurt... no matter how you told me plus I would've found out eventually"

" I know it would... for anyone but I just feel so guilty"

" don't if anyone should be guilty it's them not you"

I smile at him weakly. I was feeling a bit drained.

"you're probably tired after all those tests you should rest" he says

" thanks" I say " ... for being there for me"

"No problem Bella what are friends for" he says while getting up and exiting the room but not before giving me one last smile and giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

After he leaves the room I quickly drift off to sleep. I really was tired.

I'm dreaming I know. I look around and see a big room that's decorated with lots of lights and flowers, but not just any flowers red ones with big leaves. Christmas flowers. It's christmas.

" go on Bella see what Santa brought you" I hear a voice say from behind me. I turn around and see two adults. I recognize them as my parents Charlie and Renee Swan.

I smile.

" ok mommy" I hear myself say cheerfully.

My voice sounds weird am I younger?

Yes this is a memory from my childhood. As soon as I acknowledge this as a memory something weird happens; I become a spectator.

I watch as my 5 year old self goes to the tree. It's the christmas we were in London I recall.

There's someone already there though, it's a boy and he's already opening his presents.

I can't really see his face though... yet in a way I recognize him.

My 5 year old self seems mad.

He was supposed to wait I remember.

" no fair you didn't wait" the girl says pouting a bit

" well you were taking to long" the boy says.

_still should've waited._

When he sees the frown on her face he says " I'm sorry Bella... I'll wait for you to open all your presents ok"

"ok" the little girl says. she's still mad though so the boy comes to her and gives her a hug.

when he hugs her it's like he's hugging ME. I feel it.

"sorry Bella I promise I won't ever do things without you"

she smiles. she doesn't like it when he does things on his own it makes her feel alone and sad.

I watch as they open their presents together. the girl loves the boy she looks at him constantly and and always smiles when he smiles.

"aww aren't they just so cute?" someone says

I look towards the voice but again the face is burly and yet again I recognize her. she's with someone else a man and his face is blurry too.

" we should take a picture" she says

" oh! I have my camera right here" mom says

" come on you two" mom says to us " get closer"

The boy comes closer and puts his arm over the girl. I once again feel the hug and as we're both being hugged the room becomes brighter and the dream takes a happier tint.

" smile" both women say in a sing song voice.

It's then that the dream ends.

I wake up and look around for Jake.

" If you're looking for your friend I sent him home" says a women beside me. she's looking at some papers and has on white closes. No not clothes a uniform. A nurse's uniform. She must be a nurse.

" Poor dear he's been here every night since the accident. He refused to leave your side; said he wanted to be here when you woke up"

I smile . Jake is so sweet.

" But today I convinced him to go home since you had already woken up"

"Thanks, he should get some sleep himself. I wouldn't want him to get sick" I say

she smiles at me fondly and sighs

" Aw young love" she sighs again

love? are Jake and I boyfriend and girlfriend? I knew we were close but love? well he did say I was beautiful and I do get this warm feeling in my heart when he's around and then their's that other feeling; the feeling we're more than friends and he also called me "honey" and if remember correctly that's something you say to your girlfriend or boyfriend.

The thought makes me smile.

But if he's my boyfriend then why was the doctor so shocked that I wanted Jake with me for the tests? He must have been surprised that a part of me recognized him.

" You should go back to sleep dear it's still too early to be awake" the nurse says

I nod and close my eyes.

This time I don't dream anything and when I wake up again Jake is there with me.

I instantly remember what the nurse said about young love and jake being there while I was unconcious. It puts a smile on my face.

" looks like someone woke up in a happy mood" Jake says

" sleep well?" he asks

I sigh

" yes" I answer " how about you? did you sleep well? are you well rested?"

After what the nurse said I'm kind of worried about him.

Jake looks at me funny, he's giving me a questioning look

" Yes Bella I slept well thank you. I'm very well rested"

" ok" I say smiling

" Bella you're acting a little weird" Jake says

" weird?" I ask panicking a little " You think I'm weird?"

" No! I just... you know what never mind forget I said anything ok" he's nervous probably doesn't want to hurt my feelings or make me cry.

" ok" I say still a little worried

There is silence after that. Akward silence.

I hear a buzzing sound and I watch Jake take out a black long looking thing. A celphone. His celphone. He looks at it for a couple of seconds and then turns back to me.

" Bella some people are here to see you" He starts

" People? how many?" I ask feeling a little afraid.

" Just two really. They're friends shoot! I wasn't supposed to say anything!"

" Why?" I ask

" Well the doctor says that it may stress you out more if you don't remember and that doesn't do you any good"

I guess the doctor had a point though I anticipate that it will become very fustrating not only not knowing but them not telling me.

"oh" is all I say

I think about what I will have to face well I think about going through life not knowing who I am or who I can trust and it scares me.

" Is that ok?" Jake asks me

No I want to say it's not ok; but I have to be brave and find the will to face things well people really. They're the ones that scare me.

" Yes" I answer instead.

" Jake?" I ask

" Yeah Bella" He answers me.

" What's your name? Your whole name I mean"

He smiles.

"Jacob Anderson Black"

" ok"

" They're right outside Bella should I tell them to come back another time?"

"No Jake, it's ok. Tell them to come in" I say trying to sound more confident than I feel.

"Are you sure? You look really freaked."

Guess it didn't work.

"No jake I'm fine really" I say as I grab his hand for enfases.

He smiles and gives my hand a squeeze.

" Ok guys come in" he says loudly

The door opens slowly and and in comes a boy and a girl. The girl is holding the boy's hand and for some unknown reason it bothers me. Probably because she's practically dragging him inside and he doesn't look to happy. Maybe he doesn't want to be here. The thought saddens me. I turn towards the girl instead. She looks happy to be here.

She has long brown hair, blues eyes, and pale skin like mine. I look into her eyes and see that she's a good person and my friend my heart tells me that, but I also get this feeling of mistrust. No not mistrust, it's something else, but I don't know what. I push that feeling aside since it's very small and something in me tells me it isn't small just... petty?

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I take a deep breath and look towards the boy again.

I feel jacob squeeze my hand and turn breifly towards him and smile.

I reluctantly turn towards the boy. He's tall, messy bronze hair, he also has pale skin and the greenist eyes. There is something familiar about them. The instant that thought crosses my mind I feel a little squeeze in my heart in my heart but it's so faint that I'm left wondering if I really did feel it.

Though his eyes are beautiful they're drakened by anger. I look at his face and see that he's furious but of what I don't know. It's intimadating though so I shrink back a little.

" Hi! I'm Alice Brandon and we're going to be great friends" she says coming closer to me and giving me a hug.

I'm confused, I thought we were already friends. I give Jake a questioning look, he sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Alice she already knows you're friends" he says to her.

I frown at his tone towards her.

" well how was I supposed to know" She says defensively.

" Besides how does she know we're friends huh?" she has her eyebrow raised at him and she's smirking.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I recognize that gesture.

" Well... it kind of slipped ok" He says defensive now.

"Thought we weren't supposed to tell her anything" she says in a weird tone.

"Alice" the boy says behind her.

The boy comes up and shakes my hand.

" I'm Edward Cullen" he says and then goes back towards Alice.

I'm glad he didn't hug me because it would've made me uncomfortable.

"It's nice to meet you all...again" I say uncomfortably.

"Don't you mean 're-meet you all again'?'" Jake asks laughing a little.

I turn towards him and give him a glare, but he squeezes my hand again and smiles the most dazzling smile that I can't help but smile back.

I hear someone clear their throat and we both turn towards Alice and Edward. They both have calculating expressions like they're trying to figure out what's going on. Jacob lets go of my hand instantly and I can't help but frown.

"Private joke?" Alice asks Jacob.

She looks mad and her tone suggests that she's accusing him of something.

"No" I say.

I don't like the way she's looking at him. Edward is giving me a weird look. It's between pain, anger and something else I can't identify. It makes me uncomfortable and I look away towards Alice.

" I..that's what I said when he told me his name...you know since I can't remember anyone" I explain

"Oh! well that makes sense" she says.

I notice Edward walk towards the window. He stays there for the rest of the visit. Alice tries to make him participate in the conversation but he either gives short answers or doesn't answer at all. He looks deep in thought.

Nobody says anything of it and I soon forget he's there at all.

"Well I think we should let you rest Bella" Alice says while getting up.

" Yes we should let Bella rest" Edward repeats. He looks kind of relieved to leave, it's sad I thought we could be friends.

"Come on Alice" Edward says grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers together.

"Bye Bella. I promise to come soon, I know you'll miss me" she says

Edward laughs. The only laugh since he got here.

"Goodbye Bella sleep well" Edward says and with that they leave.

I turn towards Jake and see that he's laughing too.

"Jake?" I ask

"Yes Bella" he says turning towards me and grabbing my hand again. I smile.

" Are Alice and Edward together?" I ask

"What?" he asks.

He looks confused, bewildered and maybe even a little shocked as if that was absurd.

" NO!" he practically yells.

It startles me

"what would make you think that?" He asks in a more normal tone.

"Well they were holding hands and They seemed close" I answer. Also he seems happy with Alice; he only laughed with her I add in my mind.

" No Bella, they're just friends trust me" he says to me like he's re-assuring me of something. How weird.

" ok" I say " I was just asking"

Jake stays a little while longer and we get to know each other better...well I get to know HIM better.

I drift off to sleep and dream about the boy again, with everything that went on today I had forgotten about the dream.

This time we're older 7 or 8 years old maybe. The dream is sad, I know it instantly. I can feel the sadness.

The little girl was looking at the boy. He was playing with someone else. She looks sad, tears are begining to fall but she wipes them quickly because she doesn't want anyone to see her cry. She had promised she would let him play with the other boys at the park.

" Go on Bella" says a voice from behind. I turn and see it's one of the maids that often traveled with us.

" I...I really don't feel like playing" she says real quitely.

The maid looks at her with pitty.

The girl turns away.

"It's because of.." she begins to say but the girl interrupts her.

" NO! IT'S NOT! I JUST DON'T WANT TO PLAY OK!" She yells and then storms off.

She felt bad for yelling at Debbie but she didn't want her pitty nor did she want her blaming him for anything because he would get in trouble. Their parents were always blaming him for things and often got in trouble for not including Bella in his games. it's not that he was mean but he wanted to play alone sometimes and sometimes he wanted to play with other boys. She didn't really get why but if that's what he wanted then she would let him do it. Even if it hurt that he didn't want her, that she wasn't enough.

She went towards the trees and when she was sure no one could hear her she let out a sob.

"Bella?" came the boy's voice.

_He has a nice voice._

"What?" she answered.

She didn't want him to see her crying, it would make him feel bad.

"Are you ok?" he asked coming in front of her.

She looked down.

" I saw you yelling at Debbie" he continues when she doesn't answer.

" So" she answers, still looking down.

He lifts her chin

"So... you never yell at anyone Bella" he says smiling a little

"You're the nicest girl I know" he says.

" I'm the only girl you know" she retorts but the saddness is there in her voice. It breaks my heart.

" Makes no difference, you're still really nice and you never yell at anyone not unless you're defending me" he says looking down.

" I wasn't yelling because of you ok" she says.

She looks mad but I can tell it's just a wall she's building.

"Debbie was pittying me! You know I hate pitty" she says

" It's all my fault" he continues on to say as if she hadn't spoken

" I'm always hurting you Bella" he looks really sad.

The dream turns sadder like his sadness is added towards hers. It's unbareable.

" No it's not... you..you want to play with boys...not your fault I'm shy" she says

She's lying again. It's not that she's shy well not really it's just that she doesn't want to play with anyone but him.

She hugs him and suddenly the dream is a happy one because the boy isn't sad anymore and he's smiling again.

" Come on I'll introduce you to Kevin he's cool" he says while taking her hand and leading them out of the bushes...

The dream fades away as the two kids run off toward the playground...


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok so this is the next chapter… I know that things are going slow but I things will pick up… I would appreciate some feed back…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or any recognizable characters**

Time continues to pass and with it I grow closer to Jake and Alice.

My relationship with Jake has taken off I guess. He is here almost every day and we talk for hours. I love spending time with him. He makes me laugh all the time and always seems to know when I'm feeling lousy. I continue to believe he's my boyfriend; it's in everything thing he does. The way he seems to know me better than anyone else; the way he knows just what to say; the way my body seems to warm when he holds my hand; the way he kisses me on the forehead every night before he leaves and the way my heart seems to respond to him. It recognizes him. It tells me he's the one.

Alice. My relationship with Alice is still somewhat rocky. I now know we are true friends and that she has been there for me in the past. I have had dreams about her; they're somewhat blurry and a bit confusing at times but the message is always clear, she's a true friend. My only true GIRL friend.

I don't have many friends, and from what I've dreamt and seen my only friends are Jake, although he doesn't really count because he's my boyfriend, Alice and Edward. It's sad and lonely.

Edward isn't around very much. He only comes with Alice and I have a feeling it's because she forces him to. I wish she wouldn't though because he makes me uneasy and he looks miserable. He doesn't talk to me he's just there. He only talks when Alice talks to him and even then it's forced. Only Alice is able to get a reaction from him and it bothers me. I wish Alice wouldn't bring him.

I have continued to dream and I discovered that it wasn't my parents that it wasn't my parents who abandoned me but it was ME who left THEM. I still remember that night.

"Are you sure Bella?" my mother had asked. She had tears in her eyes

"Yes" I heard the girl say, she doesn't sound too sure of her answer though.

"Bella you'll be so far away. You know your father and I can't stand to live in one place…please? Just think about it a little more" she says.

She's trying to convince me to stay with them and the girl doesn't look like she wants to leave but she does she always leaves.

I don't know why she says that she wants to go…I can never get passed that point though she says she wants a normal life and that she's tired of travelling and the dream always ends there. My mind shifts to another dream a happier one…about the boy and I'm glad because I'm not sure I want to know why I left my parents.

Through my dreams I have discovered that I grew up with the boy. I haven't been able to see his face though but at least he's always there. I have often thought it might be Jake but something in me tells me it's not.

I haven't told anyone about my dreams or the boy….. Maybe because Jake is the only one I feel remotely comfortable saying it to and it would be weird to say to your boyfriend that you dream about someone else every night…maybe because I want to keep it a secret I don't know.

Today is the last day I'll be in the hospital and I'm glad because I'm tired of being here. It's not that I have any aversion to the hospital; I just hate to inconvenience people and both Jake and Alice believe that someone always has to be with me. Most of the time it's Jake but Alice has been the one coming lately because Jake has school things to do.

By the way Alice is running late.

Just then someone knocks on the door.

"Come in Alice" I say

"Actually it's me" Edward says coming in.

"Hi Bella" he says smiling

"H…hi Edward" I stutter "wh…what are you doing here? Where's Alice?"

"Alice…she uh went shopping" he says

He looks uncomfortable.

"Shopping?" I ask a bit incredulously.

I can't believe she left me to go shopping. I can't believe she sent Edward here she should've left me alone!

"Yeah you probably don't remember this but Alice LOVES to shop" he says and then chuckles

"Actually I'm surprised she has waited this long. I tried to dissuade her. I know how much you hate it when she shops for you but… Alice said she HAD to because you needed and I quote 'more _new_ you clothes'" he says putting a slight enfaces on 'you'.

"Wait she went shopping to buy ME clothes?" I ask surely I must have heard wrong.

"Yeah" is all he says like it's no big deal.

_Well maybe it's not he did say I hated it when she shopped for me_

"You're right I do well not hate per say but it definitely bothers me" I say

I hear him chuckle and for some unknown reason his laughter makes me laugh a little to.

"I should tell her to stop doing that" I think out loud

Edward laughs louder

"What?" I ask turning to look at him again.

"well you always say you're going to stop her but you never do, that's one of the main reasons she continues to do it, and before you say anything else you have tried to refuse her gifts but she always gilts you into accepting them"

"So basically what you're saying is that I have to suck it up and just accept what she gives me?"

"Yeah pretty much" he says simply

"Great" I groan

"Hey don't worry" he says reaching out and grabbing my hand "it won't be that bad plus speaking from experience you have always liked her wardrobe choices"

"Thanks" I say smiling at him.

He smiles back and for a moment it's like I get lost in his eyes but he breaks contact and looks away.

"Hey you got a T.V" he says in a cheerful voice. It sounds fake somehow.

"Yeah just got it today" I answer.

"Kind of a shame to waste it don't you think?"

I shrug

"Mind if I watch the game?"

"Uh yeah sure" I say.

I'm kind of disappointed; it seemed to be going so well and he was talking to me for the first time. I wanted to get to know him.

"Cool. Thanks" is all he says already giving his full attention to the television.

I sigh and turn to watch the T.V. as well.

That's how the afternoon goes until his phone rings.

He was so immersed in the game that he answered without bothering to see who it was.

"Hello?" he says

Out of the corner of my eye I see him sit up quickly and turn the television off. I turn to look at him.

"Oh hey Alice, how's the shopping?" he asks nervously

"Why?" he asks confused

He rolls his eyes and sighs

"Fine" he says before putting the phone on speaker and placing it on the bed beside me.

"Bella!" I hear Alice practically yell.

"Hey Alice" I say looking at the phone.

"So how's everything going? Edward treating you ok?" she asks

Did she really think Edward would harm me? It's confusing why would she think that? He seemed like a nice guy.

"Fine. Edward's been very nice to me" I say

_Although he has been ignoring me _I say in my head

"Mmm…what have you been doing?" she asks

Why is she poking around? Why does she care what we do? If she cared so much about me she shouldn't have left me with him.

_Why am I mad?_

"Watching the game" I say

I hear Edward groan.

I turn to look at him again but he has his head down on the bed.

"What?" she shrieks

"Edward you stupid prick! What the hell is wrong with you?" she yells.

"Alice sweetie" he begins trying to calm her down.

I feel weird when he says those words I can't quite explain it but my head feels dizzying and I hear voices but they're coming to me all at once and I can't concentrate on them; so they're just buzzing around in my head. It's unpleasant so I try to focus on Alice and Edward's conversation instead hoping to get rid of the horrible feeling.

"Don't you 'Alice sweetie' me Edward! This isn't what we agreed on!" she says

He turns off the speaker on his phone, grabs it from the bed and quickly leaves the room.

I'm a bit shocked by my feelings. It's not like I didn't know that Alice had bribed Edward in some way for him to be here but still to find out that he had to _bribed_…it hurts.

_He really doesn't like me._

I shake my head to clear that thought.

_What's wrong with me?_

I try to focus on something else and I settle on Alice.

Wow Alice seemed pretty mad. I kind of feel bad for him. I didn't want to get him in trouble.

He comes back a couple of minutes later and I instantly feel worse. The look on his face says it all. He's in big trouble.

He puts the phone on speaker without another word towards me.

"Bella" Alice says.

I can tell she's still mad because her voice sounds strained.

"Edward has something to say to you"

He sighs

"Bella I'm sorry; I was a selfish dick for watching the game today. I should've tried to do something that you would like."

"It's okay, really I didn't mind" I say trying to help him.

"Don't even try Bella. Eddie is taking us shopping as his punishment and he's also paying oh and Eddie we're taking the hummer. We'll need LOTS of space" she finishes.

"Really Alice" I begin to protest but she cuts me off.

"Not a word from you missy. No excuses"

"I thought it was to make it up to Bella not to torture her' I hear Edward mutter.

"What did you saw Edward?" Alice asks her voice gaining a higher pitch.

Boy he really doesn't know when to stop does he?

"Nothing" he says quickly

"That's what I thought" she says.

"That's what I thought" Edward mimics in a girly voice.

I chuckle at his childishness.

He looks up and smiles at me. I smile back.

"Bye Bella see you in a few" she says

"Bye Alice" I say

She hangs up without another word to Edward.

Edward slumps into the chair beside my bed.

"I'm really sorry Edward" I apologize

"For what" he asks

"For…for…saying" I stutter

"What? The truth?" he says interrupting me "Bella, it's not your fault and Alice was right. It was wrong of me to watch the game and…ignore you I'm really sorry" he says looking at me with a sad apologetic eyes.

And just like that I forgive him, those eyes….

"It's okay" I say smiling at him

He smiles back.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask

"Yeah sure what?" he says sitting up straight and giving me his full attention.

"Is shopping with Alice that bad?"

From the way he reacted and from his mutterings I'm kind of afraid.

He sighs

"Yeah…pretty much"

"Why?" I ask "she seems to have good fashion sense"

He laughs a little

" It's not because of her fashion sense…you probably didn't get it from the phone call but she's STILL at the mall and well clearly she can shop for hours nonstop and buy everything in sight."

"Great" I groan

"I think she wants to punish you to for letting me watch the game"

I groan again

I feel his hand touch mine.

"Don't worry though I'm sure she'll go easy on you"

I look up and see him smiling at me.

"Thanks" I say smiling.

"You're welcome Bella what are friends for?" he says

I contemplate my 'friendship' with Edward.

_Well he says we're friends…even though we don't really talk…maybe…no I can't._

I shake my head

_Who else are you going to ask?_

There really isn't anybody Alice would never tell me and well I'm just to chicken to ask Jake.

_Exactly _my mind says back to me.

Is it weird that I just had a conversation with myself? Maybe I should probably talk to a psychologist….nah I don't think so.

I look at Edward once again and notice that he's looking at me weirdly.

"What?" I ask feeling self-conscious.

"Nothing" he says "I was just waiting for you; it seemed like you were debating about something"

I let out a nervous laugh and bite my lower lip.

I look down at my hands.

"Well…" I begin but I'm unable to continue

_Come on Bella just ask!_

"Yes?" he prompts

I take a deep breath

_I can do this_

_I can do this_

_I can do this_

"Umm… well you see.." but once again I'm unable to continue.

_This would be so much easier if we were closer _I think to myself.

I hear him laugh. I look up and look down immediately

_Great now he's laughing at me_

I frown

"I'm not laughing at you Bella" he says as if he could read my mind "it's just funny seeing you fumble for words. I thought it would only be Jake whom you had that problem with." He says

_Well he just gave me an opening_

"I'm really sorry it's just that I don't know how to ask…will you promise to answer my question?" I ask

"Yeah sure why wouldn't I?" he asks sounding confused.

"Because it's about my past" I say quitely

"Oh"

I look back up at him

"You'll answer my question right? I REALLY need to know…please" I plead putting my hands together and making the puppy dog face Alice taught me.

"You've talked to Alice haven't you?" he asks

I smile sheepishly knowing he's talking about the face.

"Alright" he sighs

"Thanks" I say

I'm so excited that I hug him

"You're the best Edward" I say

He laughs nervously

"Thanks but uh..." he clears his throat "you still have to ask me the question"

I blush

"Right"

I was so excited that I forgot to ask

"Well you see I…I…is J…is Ja"

For some reason I'm unable to ask the question while looking at him. I close my eyes.

"Is Jake my boyfriend?" I finally ask

It stays silent and after what seems like a long time I open my eyes. I find Edward facing away from me.

"Edward?" I ask

"Why…why do think that" he asks in a weird voice.

His voice sounds weird kind of hoarse.

"Are you ok?" I ask completely ignoring his question.

"Why do you ask that?" he repeats.

"Because…because I…he seems to know me better than anyone else…he complements me… he makes me laugh… he kisses me… in the forehead every night and he… he holds my hand… and he's like my sun…he warms me up…I know it sounds weird but…"

"That's all? That's why you think he's your boyfriend?" he asks still not looking at me.

"Well no…" I say feeling a bit… I don't know offended?

"Then what else" he ask in the same weird hoarse voice.

"I…I…g..get this…this feeling"

_God why is it so hard to say?_

"Of what?" he asks

"I recognize him; my heart recognizes him" I finally say

It stays silent for a moment a long moment.

"Edward are you alright?" I ask

"Yes I am" he asks

"Then would you please answer my question?" I ask getting a little annoyed

He laughs but it sounds weird,darker.

"I think you just answered your own question didn't you?" he asks looking back at me.

I sigh in relief when I see that he seems to be back to normal. He was really creeping me out.

"Then why doesn't he say anything?" I ask

"Well Jake isn't the one who lost his memory, he's probably just waiting for you to make a move or say something. He probably thinks you'll freak out if he told you." He says

I think over what he says. It makes sense.

"Look I know it's going to be hard to make a move or tell him you remember so I'll tell you what I'll help you" he says smiling

"Really?" I ask excitedly

"Yes" he says simply

"Thanks" I say

I have the urge to hug him but he's so far away that it's impossible.

"I think I should warn you though many of the girls at school hate you because you're with Jake… they often do bad things to you but don't worry this accident should make them stop for at least 3 months"

"Really like what?"

"Well there was this one time the cheerleaders dropped their purple paint all over you" he laughs "you looked so funny"

I laugh imagining it myself.

"Oh and there was this other time when they dropped their glitter bottles on you…you know the ones they use to make their posters shinny? You looked like a walking…" but he doesn't finish because he's overcome with laughter.

"oh and there was the time when the swimming team got you soaking wet and well that wouldn't have been that bad if it wasn't freezing cold"

And that's how the next 1 hour passes with Edward and me laughing at all the things that had happened to me. It was fun to laugh and I hope Edward and I become friends…

But my hope is somewhat crushed when both Alice and Jake come through the door. Edward becomes a bit distant.

After only half an hour Edward pulls Alice up from her seat saying how it was getting late and they should leave.

Alice frowns "but I hardly got to see Bella today?"

"Yeah and whose fault is that?" Edward asks

"What are you saying this is my fault?" she asks

"Uh let me think…yeah"

Alice doesn't say anything to that.

"That's what I thought" he says slightly mocking her.

She crosses her arms and pouts.

Edward laughs "come on Ally"

"Oh bye Bella" he says almost like an after thought.

"Yeah bye Bella" Alice says

Edward pushes her out the door and just when he's about to leave he winks at me.

_Did he just do that to help me?_

I turn towards Jake

"Are you sure they're not together?" I ask

"Yes Bella I'm sure" he says rolling his eyes.

Alas I didn't have the nerve to ask him and he left shortly after.

I go to sleep thinking about tomorrow.

I sigh

My life starts tomorrow…


	4. Chapter 4

"Alright Bella" Dr. Snow says "everything looks fine you'll just have to meet with a psychologist in the next couple of weeks"

"Why?" I ask

Psychologists are for crazy people, I'm not crazy I just lost my memory.

"Just routine procedure Bella" Dr. Snow explains. "You suffered a trauma to the head which led to you losing your memory. We want to know why and maybe it might even help you gain your memory. Plus I just want to know you're okay."

Trauma?

Whatever, I just want to get out of here.

"Alright" I say "I'll schedule it within the next few weeks."

"I'll leave you then, your friends are waiting outside already"

He turns to leave without another work.

"Goodbye Dr. Snow thanks...for taking care of me and curing me" I say

He turns and smiles

"You're welcome Bella. Take care of yourself"

I sensed his sincerity. He cares about me.

Just then a bunch of images of Dr. Snow came flooding to me.

He's my family doctor; he has cared for ever since I was a little girl. He's hired by my parents to be anywhere at any time...guess my parents care after all.

"Thanks again Andrew" I say in a cheerful tone. I'm glad I remembered him. He's a link to my parents and it's just good to remember it makes me feel just a little bit less lost.

"Take care Bella, hope you remember soon" he says and with that he turns again to leave. I think I hear him mutter "and stop this" nut he's out the door before I can ask him anything.

Alice comes in as soon as the doctor leaves.

"Bella" she says in a sing song voice

"Hey Alice" I say

"I brought you clothes." She says

At the mention of clothes I remember Edward and instantly feel bad for getting him in trouble.

"Alice" I begin to say "please forgive Edward. He really..."

"Bella don't even try to justify him, what he did was unforgivable" she says and I see that she is going to get mad again.

"But please" I plead unable to stop myself.

"Bella" she says exasperated "the more you intercede for him the worst his punishment will be"

I shut my mouth then and fight the urge to continue pleading. I don't want to make it worst.

She takes a deep breath

"Here go put these on" she says thrusting a shopping bag in front of me.

I take the bag and go to the bathroom to put on my clothes.

As I'm putting on my clothes I get this distinct feeling that Alice toned it down for me. It's just jeans and a t-shirt after all and it's Alice we're talking about.

I smile

"You look great Bella" she says when she sees me.

"Thanks" I say managing to give a small smile. It's not very convincing.

"What's wrong Bella?" she asks "Don't you like the clothes" she frowns "I could..."

"The clothes are great Alice I...well I'm scared and a little sad"

"Why?" she asks a bit confused

"Well it just occurred to me while I was changing that I live alone and that I'll be alone" I admit feeling a bit childish.

"Oh!" she exclaims "I haven't told you have I? Sorry you just side tracked me with your Edward nonsense"

"Tell me what?" I ask ignoring her last comment.

"Well your parents sent Anna" she exclaims

"Your nanny" she explains when she sees that I don't know who she's talking about.

"So even though I was in an accident..." I shake my head.

No use going down that road.

"You'll love Anna she's AMAZINNG!" she exclaims

Somewhere in the back of my mead I know that she knows what I was about to say and ignored it. Maybe this has happened before? My parents not caring enough to come themselves. It hurts; I know it was me who left them but still.

God I hope I get over the hurt soon.

I swallow the lump in my throat

"Let's go" I say

"Wow Bella you look...normal" I hear Edward say

I look at him confused. What kind of compliment is that?

Jake smacks him in the back of the head.

"Hey!" he complains

"I was just trying to say that I was glad Alice didn't go overboard. I mean its Alice we're talking about" he explains.

I giggle.

"Don't you think you should be nicer to Alice?" I ask

"No" he says simply

"You're going to pay for that" Alice says

"We'll see" he says smiling rather flirtatiously towards her.

I look away.

"Yes we will" Alice says in a dangerous voice.

"Just remember that no one's here to advocate for you she says.

It's silent for a long time and I finally look up and see that Edward is no longer smiling. I look sideways towards Alice and see regret on her face.

It's awkward until Jake breaks the ice.

"So Bella you ready to go home." He asks. His voice is full of false cheerness.

"Yes" I say in the same tone of voice.

"You look very pretty" he says in an honest voice.

"Thanks" I say smiling and looking down.

It gets awkward again

"Let's go" Alice says

We all walk in silence until we get to the car.

"Bella calls shotgun" Edward says rather loudly.

We all turn to look at him confused.

What's shotgun?

"What?" he asks innocently

"She likes to ride in the front and I think she would like to see where we're going since its new to her. Might help her remember something"

Alice and Jake are still looking at him weird.

"Come on Alice" he says grabbing her hand "we'll go in the back"

I have a feeling he did that to help me with Jake.

The ride to my house is...annoying.

Edward talks non-stop about Jake's "awesome" qualities.

"Edward!" Jake nearly shouts, interrupting Edward mid-sentence. "Please stop! I know you admire me and are in love with me but seriously dude it's getting annoying"

"Thanks Jake I thought he would never shut up" Alice says

I turn back and I see Edward sticking out his tongue at Alice. She's looking sideways so she doesn't see.

I stifle a giggle.

He turns towards me and winks.

The rest of the car ride is silent.

When we get to the house and I instantly recognize it.

Jake helps me out of the car and I look around. It's huge.

"Come on Bella" Jake says

He's already at the door. They all are. I hurry towards them.

We go in and I see an elderly looking lady. That must be Anna.

_Yes that's Anna._

Something weird happens. My heart recognizes Anna instantly but even though my mind does as well it isn't able to come up with any memories of her and me interacting.

How is that possible?

Jake once again senses something is wrong and gives my hand a squeeze.

Weird I didn't know we were holding hands. I guess since I hold his hand all the time now I've stopped noticing when it happens.

It makes me smile like always and I turn to look at him for a brief second. He smiles back which only makes my smile widen.

"Hi" I say timidly

"Welcome home Bella" she says with a fond smile that makes me remember the nurse.

My mind seems to come up with the millions of times she's smiled like that throughout my life. It's just the face and the smile though like a slide show of her smile...weird.

I instantly feel more comfortable with her.

"So Bella want to take a tour of your house?" Alice asks.

We both laugh at how ridiculous that sounds.

We both turn towards him.

I'm a bit annoyed. Does he have to make it that obvious? I know he's trying to help me but still! Besides I'm starting to doubt his motives. Maybe he doesn't want me spending time with her. He doesn't like me after all maybe he sees this as the perfect opportunity.

"Edward!" Anna and Alice say at the same time. They don't like his suggestion either.

"What?" he ask with false innocence

"I just think that Bella isn't that comfortable with you yet Alice geez"

"I'll take her" Anna says while taking my hand and heading towards the stairs.

"Make yourselves at home" she calls from the stairs.

Throughout the tour I notice that the house is too big for just me.

15 bedrooms all equipped with full bathrooms plus 3 other ones in each floor. There's also a game room, a theater room, an indoor pool and an outside pool. There's a study which I don't know why I would need one but whatever. Then there's an indoor gym, maybe I work out a lot?

Anna tells me that the master bedroom is kept clean in case my parents drop by on an unexpected visit.

The last room she shows me is mine.

It's not that big but it suits me. As I enter the room and look around I get this feeling that something is missing. Weird it's the same feeling I got throughout the tour but I had pushed it aside, but it won't go away now and besides it's stronger here.

I turn towards Anna

"Anna" I begin but I hesitate and I'm unable to go on.

"Yes" she says turning to me and gives me a re-assuring smile.

"Did you move some of my things?" I ask

"No" she answers a little too quickly.

I let it go because...why would she lie to me?

We leave my room soon after and she introduces me to the staff. They all seem nice enough and I even recognize some.

The rest of the day is spent with my friends. Edward continues to push me towards telling Jake which causes me to get annoyed even more.

***~MSF*~**

I sigh as I close the door after they've left

"Long day?" Anna asks as she comes in from behind me.

I turn around

"Kind of" I say sighing again

She continues to look at me somewhat expectantly.

"It just seems a lot to take in you know. The big house, the no parents, the no friends, and the no memories don't help either."

I give a little laugh.

"And Edward was annoying you?" she asks.

I look up at her surprised.

"Was it obvious?" I ask grimacing a little.

She gives a little laugh

"No, I just know how to read you"

I sigh relieved.

_Thank god _

"Good because he hardly talks to me as it is and I wouldn't want to offend him or anything."

"Don't worry you wouldn't be offending him. He _was _annoying and besides Alice and Jacob seemed annoyed as well"

"Really?" I ask

Now that I think about it they did seem a little upset. Guess I got lost in my own annoyance that I didn't notice.

"Really" she confirms

I yawn

"Come on Bella Dear let's get you to bed" she says

I smile at her motherly tone.

She leads me up the stairs towards my bedroom. Once inside she takes out my pajamas and hands them to me.

I go to the bathroom and change.

"Anna" I say coming out of the bathroom.

"I'm scared about school tomorrow"

"I know and I am too but thankfully E...your friends are there to help you"

_Jake _I think and smile.

"Don't worry Bella everything is going to be fine just get some rest." She says.

She kisses my forehead

"Sweet dreams Bella" she says turning towards the door and turning off the lights.

That night I dream about the boy again and it calms me down somehow of course it helps that these are nice dreams not bad ones.

Anna POV

He's making a mistake and only prolonging the inevitable. He thinks that just by not being in her life and by removing evidence of his presence in her past she won't remember but he's wrong. It's only a matter of time before she remembers him.

I sigh

I hated lying to Bella but I had to. I couldn't tell her we had removed the pictures of them together. He even had us remove his things and his parent's things in case Bella found them.

I sigh again.

He isn't strong enough to stay away either...we'll see...

**Ok so that was it. I decided to not write the friends interacting because it would just be annoying. If you want to know just imagine Edward going on and on about how great Jake is. Alice finally telling to shut the eff up and then Alice and Jake making Bella have a nice time. As for Bella she thinks that Jake is great and practically ignores Alice sometimes because she's so absorbed with Jake. **

**Anyway please review**


	5. Chapter 5

"Alice are you sure this is necessary?" I ask for like the thousandth time.

We were currently in my room; Alice had come in really early to help me get ready. At the time I was thankful but seeing the clothes she put me in I was re-thinking my thankfulness.

She sighed

_I think she's getting frustrated_

"Bella this is your first day back, after your accident, it's important that you look beautiful" she said...again

"Yeah I know but...I don't know don't you think these clothes are a little much? I mean they seem a little formal and sophisticated"

_And it's a bit uncomfortable_

"look Bella I know this is a little uncomfortable but" she paused and smiles at me sadly

"But" I prompt

"But you need to look confident and able to take on the world. I know Edward told you about the girls at school, they're a little mean...towards you mostly. It's because they're jealous and..."

"Jealous?" I interrupt "of me? For what"

"You have the most amazing..Boyfriend and..." she immediately stopped and looked up.

_She messed up_

I couldn't help but smirk

"Oops" she said

"it's ok Alice... I already knew that Jake was more than my friend...you just merely confirmed it" I said trying to soothe her.

She opened her mouth a couple of times but nothing came out.

"and I promise not to tell neither Jake nor Edward alright" I said smiling widely at her. I know I was being smug but I couldn't help it to finally have something confirmed feels good.

_Hmm maybe the doctors have it wrong_

"Anyways you're right I need to look confident and beautiful...I want to make a good impression"

She finally relaxed and gave me a fond smile

"Bella" she sighed "you keep forgetting that everyone already knows you. It's you who doesn't remember them"

"Yeah guess you're right" I say feeling embarrassed

"It's alright. I think it's only natural that you feel that way"

With some "last finishing touches" we were ready to leave.

"Alice" I say as we head out the door

"Yes Bella"

"How early did you wake up today?"

I had been meaning to ask her since I could think clearly but hadn't gotten around to it.

"You don't want to know trust me" she says laughing

"Now come on that Edward and Jacob are waiting for us and we're going to be late" she says grabbing my hand and practically towing me down the stairs

"You look beautiful Bella" Jake says coming forward and giving me a hug.

Edward just nods

"Aren't you going to say anything Edward?" Alice asks him raising an eyebrow

"about what?" he asks

"About her clothes, her make-up, her shoes anything!" she yells at him

She's mad...again

"No" he answers

Jake looks at him like he's a dead man

I sigh

_They always fight_

That makes me stiffen

_Where did that come from? _

I know the answer is obvious but I thought I...I didn't remember anything.

"and why not?" she asks seething

"Because the last time I said anything you practically bit my head off" he says

He looks so calm, could he really think this is any better?

I sigh

Why does Alice want him to compliment me anyway?

"Ah!" she screams as she storms out.

"Why do you push her buttons like that dude?" Jake asks as soon as Alice is out the door.

"Because it's fun" he says smiling

"Your funeral" he says shaking his head

Edward just laughs

We all turn towards the door

"You look great Bella" Edward whispers in my ear

A shiver runs through me. I look up and he's smiling at me, that beautiful smile that would keep me standing there staring like an idiot if it wasn't for Jake who forces me to keep walking.

I'm surprised when I look and see more than one car. I thought we would all go together.

I frown

I know it's childish but I want us all together

"Finally!" Alice exclaims dramatically "took you guys long enough"

We all laugh

"Come on Ms. Impatient" Edward says taking out his keys heading for his car.

"See you guys at school" Edward says before getting in his car

Alice goes in without another word or glance towards us.

"Come on Bella" Jake says pulling me towards his car.

He's a true gentlemen he opens my door for me and everything

"Are you sure Alice and Edward aren't together?"

He sighs

"Yes" he says in an annoyed voice

"Didn't you see the way they were fighting?" he asks

"Yes but..."

"But what"

"but isn't there a saying about how when two people fight so much it's because they love each other?" I ask

"Yes but this isn't the case here trust me"

The could be having a secret relationship I think

"Ok" I say instead

The rest of the car ride is spent with us talking and it's easy. It's effortless...

We arrive at the school in no time

A regular school filled with regular people living their regular lives…just like I wanted.

"Are you ready Bella" Jake asks beside me

"Yeah" I say

He gets out and comes around and opens my door for me. We smile at each other for a moment or two.

"Don't worry Bella we're all here to protect you" he says looking into my eyes again.

"Yes we are" Alice says

She comes over and pulls me away from Jake. She takes me towards the office where they give me my schedule and a map of the school in case I get lost. Alice insists that it isn't necessary but I take it anyway.

Jake and Edward are waiting outside for us.

"Everything go ok" Jake asks anxiously

"Of course everything went ok Jacob" Alice answered in a rather rude voice.

"Alice" Edward says in a slightly warning tone.

I turn to look at him and he was looking at Alice in a weird way, almost as if he was trying to tell her something with his eyes.

She got the message because I heard her sigh next to me.

"I'm sorry Jacob" Alice says

"It's alright it was kind of a stupid question" Jake says.

It was quiet after that. They all walked me to my next class. Jake was beside me like always holding my hand. Edward and Alice were behind us and when I look back I notice that Edward is a step behind Alice and she has her head down.

I hear people all around me whispering. I try not to listen because I know I'll only get hurt but I do hear some…

"Oh my god it's her"

"I heard she was in an accident"

"Really"

"Yeah and she has a bump in her head. She has to be dressed and fed and all. Wonder what she's doing here?"

"Well well well if it isn't little Miss Perfect"

I hear a sinister laugh

"This should be fun…"

I was instantly glad Alice had insisted on these clothes. I needed all the confidence I could get these girls are real scary.

I walked a little straighter and tried to make my walk seem a little more confident.

Jake gave my hand a squeeze and I looked up at him and smiled. I was also glad for and amazing boyfriend.

"Well this is it" Jake said stopping in front of a classroom.

I take a peek inside and saw that almost everyone was there already. I think they're waiting for me.

I sigh

"Thanks guys…for everything" I say

"You're welcome" Jake and Alice say

Edward seems to be in his own little world

Jake gives me a peck on the cheek and says "goodbye be strong"

I turn and smile

Alice just gives me a quick hug and Edward seems to come back from where ever he was and gives me a…goodbye nod?

Really a nod?

They turn to leave.

"Oh Alice; thanks…you were right" I say hoping she'll get it.

She does because she turns around and smirks

"Told ya…you should take it as a lesson and never question my decisions. Alice knows best" she says then laughs

I laugh too

They turn around again and leave

I turn around and face the entrance to the class. I take another deep breath before going in.

_Be strong Bella_

" welcome back Bella I'm Lauren by the way. I know you don't have any memory. Here let me help you to your seat" says a tall blond girl

She gives me a bad vibe. I also get that feeling that tells me not to trust her or anyone else in this room.

She takes me towards a seat next to a chubby looking kid…Freaky Fred

"This isn't my seat" I blurt out.

She looks at me shocked

"How would you know?"

I take the Edward approach and just shrug; mainly because I really don't know.

She just stays there and stares at me, trying to make me back down maybe. I just stare back refusing to back down, finally a couple of moments later she gives up.

Hahaha take that! Oh! And thank you Edward

The last thought makes me smile who would've thought that aloof and cool Edward would ever be useful to me.

"Your seat is over there by Angela" says bitterly

I turn and look to where she's pointing. She looks kind of like me and she seems like a nice girl too but I get that feeling again telling me not to trust her completely.

_She likes him too_

I'm surprised again by that voice. I wonder if I'll ever get used to it. Who does she like though? Why does it matter? God if this keeps up I'm going to drive myself crazy.

I go over to the desk and say a quiet " hello"

She responds with a "hi" just as quietly

It isn't long before Lauren and some other girls come over and start asking stupid questions.

"Hi!" yells one of them. They're all blonde and look similar

"I'm" she says pointing to herself

"Jessica" she says enunciating her name

Is this girl stupid?

"Jessica" sighs another one. "Stop being you and shut up. Didn't you hear her talking to Lauren?"  
>"Shut up Tanya" Jessica responds " I was just trying to be nice"<p>

"Yeah well you sounded stupid" Tanya retorts

She turns towards me and when we're face to face I get this feeling that I should be careful she's more dangerous than the others but less dangerous than Angela.

_But unlike Angela she'd to anything…_

I sigh

There goes that voice again.

"These are my friends and sisters Kate and Irina" she says pointing to the other two.

_They're all the same!_

God I wish I could understand myself

"So Bella is it true that you have like this humongous bump in your head and like you have to be dressed?" Jessica asks

I open my mouth to answer her but she continues to go on and on with her ridiculous questions.

"Oh do you have to be fed? How about showered? Oh my god don't tell me someone has to take you to the bathroom? Ewww!"

"I thought I told you to shut up Jess!" Tanya yells

Jessica instantly shuts up

"Sorry about her she has issues" Tanya says to me

"It's ok" I say

I don't want her to think I'm scared or anything. I look at all of them and realize why Tanya is the most dangerous. She's the leader for one but she's also intelligent and knows how to get what she wants.

Thankfully the teacher walks in and they're all forced to leave me alone and go back to their seats.

School work comes easily to me. I just wish my personal life was the same…

They don't bother me for the rest of the class and once the class is over Jake is there waiting for me. I smile when I see him; it's comforting to see him after what the girls said. Their meanness overwhelms me.

"Hey" he greets me

"Hey" I say

I don't really notice my surroundings after that because like always Jake consumes my world.

"So how was your class? Not too bad I hope"

"It was ok" I say

I don't want him to have to fight my battles for me. I want to be strong…for him…and me.

"So none of the girls bothered you?" he insists

I can't lie to him

"Yeah some but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle" I say

He looks at me proudly it makes me smile

The rest of my morning classes pass in pretty much the same fashion. There's always some girl being mean to me or trying to make me feel bad but none try to trick me again. They're mean but it feels as if they're toning it down for me and it's always either Jake or Alice waiting for me outside of class.

It's now lunch and we're sitting with Jake's friends. I'm able to remember their names once the re-introduce themselves… Quil, Embry, Paul, Jared ,Sam, Kim, Emily, Claire and Alice. At first I sensed them a bit weird with me but it was probably because of the accident and all the crazy shit people well more like girls were saying about me. Kim, Emily and Claire were the first girls that I met today and didn't feel hostility or sense any danger. It was mice to feel the need to be on guard all the time. It was also nice to be in a friendly environment.

Everything was going great until Edward showed up. In his defense he didn't really do anything well…

It was about 15 minutes after lunch had started and I was having a great time talking to the girls and watching Jake and his friends bantering when I saw him… he hadn't seem me so he was being himself, his more free and friendly self I guess. He looked so carefree so at ease that he seemed like an entirely different person.

_Wow he looks even more handsome when he smiles like that…_

I shook my head to banish the thought. I couldn't think about him like that. He was Alice's boyfriend and she was my friend so it wouldn't do me any good to be swooning over him.

_Yeah you're right besides he doesn't smile like that around us…_

I put aside the scary thought about there being an 'us' because I was right all along he doesn't like me and that hurt really deep inside. He has always been really formal and uptight around me well except when he was shoving Jake down my throat.

He really doesn't like me. I thought sadly. I seemed unable to move past that.

Once he spotted us his whole demeanor changed. His posture stiffened a little and although he was still smiling it wasn't the same.

He stopped at our table and went over to Jake and they did some weird handshake then he went over to where Alice was sitting, right next to me, and hugged her from behind and whispered her name in her ear.

"Him" was her only response

She didn't smile or anything yet he was amused for some reason by her reaction.

"So Bella" he says standing up straight and facing me "how's your first day going? None of the girls are being mean towards you are they?"

"No everything's going great" I say

I don't want him to think I'm weak.

His expression is amused and I'll be damned if I let him make me into a source of entertainment.

"Really?" he asks incredulously

"So they story my buddy here mike" he says pulling a blonde boy closer to him. "About Lauren trying to stick you with freaky Fred and you sticking it back to her wasn't true? Damn and here I thought it would be fun to make fun of her"

I don't know why I didn't want to admit it but I just stayed silent hoping he would leave. No such luck though he just stayed there and stared at me. He knew I was lying damn! I tried holding his gaze like I did with Lauren but it didn't work I caved.

"Fine" I say looking down in defeat "you're right it did happen"

He and all his friends started laughing.

"See told you" said the boy mike

I looked more closely at him recognized him as the boy who was sitting in the back of that class. I saw him when I turned to leave but had forgotten about him when I saw Jake.

"Hey Bella" he says waving at me.

"Hi" I say quietly

"Come on guys let's sit over here" Edward says directing them to the table in front of ours.

I try to ignore him since he doesn't want to be my friend then neither do I. I wasn't very successful until I looked down. It was easier then.

It wasn't until I heard Alice mutter "you've got to be kidding me" that I looked back up. I immediately knew what she was talking about.

There was Tanya practically shoving her boobs in Edward's face. It was clear that he wasn't interested but he didn't tell her to go away either. It was annoying to watch how she flirted with him.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Alice stand up.

"Excuse me you fucking slut can't you see he isn't interested? Why don't you and shove your boobs in someone else's face!" Alice said while grabbing her by the hair and pulling her away from Edward.

By now pretty much everyone was watching.

"Ow! Let go of me!" Tanya screamed as Alice still hadn't let go of her hair.

Alice instantly let go of her and she fell to the ground.

"You'll pay for this bitch!" I heard Tanya mutter

Tanya's friends came and helped her up.

"And let this be a lesson to all of you. HE ISN'T INTRESTED! So please! Don't be shoving your boobs or your ASS in his face! Have some self-respect damn it!" 

The hostility instantly rose and pretty much every girl stared at evilly.

Tanya and her friends retreated

She huffed before turning around

"And you!" she said pointing towards Edward "wipe that smile off you face!"

"I just think it's funny" he said having the nerve to laugh

"You think everything's funny" Alice huffed while sitting down next to him

"Besides I didn't do it for you. I was just tired of seeing her boobs"

Alice spent the rest of lunch at Edward's table with his hand over her shoulder might I add. She was upset at first and wouldn't talk to anyone she was just sitting there with her arms crossed across her chest. She got over it though it probably had to with the fact that Edward was whispering in her ear probably sweet talking her. Once her anger had subsided she started whispering back and that's how they spent the rest of lunch….I think…

I looked down after a while because it hurt to watch. I had been right all along with this as well they did love each other. It was jealousy that had made her act in such a way. He probably did it on purpose just to take her away from me. He had that power over me to take one of my only friends from me. It was so sad it made want to cry. It took all my will power not to cry.

It took a while but everything went back to normal. I might not have been paying attention to what was going on but I could sense when things went back to normal.

"You ready to go to your next class Bella?" Jake asks really quietly beside me. I look up at him and I see that comforting smile I love. I hug him instantly.

"Thanks" I say

I don't know if he knows but he doesn't ask either he just hugs me back.

We get up slowly and I notice we are the last ones to leave. I'm probably late not that I care at this point but I hate to cause Jake problems.

He drops me off at my class and leaves. We don't talk and as amazing as it sounds none of the girls bother me. I even detect some pity though I'm not sure why.

I head out the door once the class is finished and head out. I expect to see Jake. I don't want to see Alice right now. I'm still upset, but I'm surprised when I see Edward standing there.

"What are you doing here?" I ask rudely

He doesn't look offended in the slightest

"It's my turn" he says nonchalantly

I snort

"What?" he asks

"Nothing" I say "why are you here?"

"I already told you" he begins but I interrupt him

"That's not what I mean. Why are you taking me to my next class? What's your reason" I clarify

"That was direct." He scoffs "Well if you really want to know I'm here because of Alice. She would have my ass if I didn't help at least once" he says indifferently

_Ow that hurts! Did he have to say it that way?_

_You asked for it_

"Look you don't have to I can go by myself I know where it is anyway. And don't worry I'll cover for you"

"No it's all right I'll do it"

Why is he insisting? You would think he'd take the opportunity and leave.

"The girls are kind of upset and" he begins

"I can take care of myself ok!" I shout while picking up the pace.

He easily catches up

"so-rry! I was just trying to be helpful" he says he's angry now

_Good_

"Well don't!" I yell in his face

"God you're such a brat" he mutters

His words hurt me so much I want to cry again. My brain is going haywire on me. It's like it's about to explode.

"I'm not a brat! I just don't want you to be inconvenienced!"

"Inconvenience me? Yeah right you probably just wish Jake was here instead but he can't so suck it up princess! Because I'm the one taking you" he grabs my hand roughly and starts pulling me.

My head…I feel light headed…

"Wait" I whisper

He stops

"WH.. Bella are you ok?" he asks

He pulls me towards him hugging me towards his body and helps me to sit down.

"Bella?" he asks again sounding very worried

"Bella please say something" he pleads

"I'm okay just give me a minute" I say

"Maybe we should take you to the nurse" he suggests

"No I'm fine just a little light headed" I explain trying to calm him down

"Here drink this" he says holding a bottle to me

_Coke_

I take a few sips and after a while I'm feeling much better. He holds my hand the whole time and just helps me get better. Once he sees that I'm a bit ok he helps me up but he once again pulls me toward him.

"Do you think you can go to class or do you" he asks

I interrupt him

"No I'm ok Edward. It's alright I'm feeling fine now" I say trying to reassure him,

"You sure" He asks

"Yeah" I say giving him a lopsided smile

"What was that?" he asks as he resumes our way to my class. He still has me in his embrace. He's caring some of my weight.

It's a bit awkward at first.

"I don't know" I answer honestly "I just started feeling like my head was spinning and wanted to explode and a little lightheaded"

It's hard to explain.

"But you're ok now right?" he asks

"Yes" I say smiling.

"Ok good…cuz you scared the shit out of me" he says laughing nervously

I can't let myself hope, he doesn't like me. He hates me.

"Yeah Alice would have your ass if something happened to me" I say. I mean it to come out as playful but I don't succeed.

He stops and turns to face me. He looks me straight in the eye " I care about you Bella?" he says giving me a smile.

He looks so honest that I can't help but believe him. I smile back at him. I'm glad he cares. It's quiet after that.

We stop in front of my classroom and I expect him to leave me at the door like Alice and Jake but no he opens the door and helps me to my seat.

"Glad you guys could join us. Ms. Swan is everything alright?" the teacher asks

Everyone is looking at us now. It's kind of embarrassing.

"Yes sir" I say

I hear Edward laugh quietly

"Shut up" I mutter

"Yes sir" he mimics

"I said shut up"

He helps me to sit down.

"Thanks" I say

"You're welcome"

He then motions for the boy next to me to move. What is he doing?

"What are you doing?" I ask quietly

"Sitting down" he whispers

"Don't you have to go to your next class?" I ask

"I am in my next class" he answers

"Oh"

He laughs again

The rest of the class is passed in silence. I occasionally feel him looking at me and he constantly asks me if I'm feeling ok. It's kind of sweet.

As we are picking up our things, after class is over, Jake comes in with his usual smile.

"Hey guys how was class?"

"Great!" Edward answers

"Bye Bella!" he says as he all but runs out the door

I sigh

Guess he hasn't changed that much…

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah"

My last class passes without incident and although it felt weird at first I learned to relax. The girls just ignored me. It was nice. I thought they were finally going to leave me alone but I was sadly mistaken. When I went to the bathroom, after my last class, I learned that good things don't happen to me, at least where the girl population at forks high is concerned.

I walk into the bathroom and hear a girl scream and I don't know how I know but I know it's Tanya so I stay hidden behind the wall so they don't see me.

"Calm down Tanya" I hear a girl say. I don't recognize the voice so it must be one of her sisters.

"Calm down? How do you expect me to calm down after what just happened?" she answers

"I don't know why you're surprised" I hear Lauren say in a bored voice

"Yeah even I knew the outcome of your little plan" Jessica adds

"Shut up! Just shut up you two!" Tanya yell

"Hey don't be taking it out on us just because your little revenge plans on Bella failed." Lauren fires back "besides did you really think he would let you carry out your plan? All his friends are always spying for him."

"Yeah I know" Tanya says in a calmer voice " it was such a great plan though it just sucks that I couldn't carry it out. I know that the best way to hurt Alice is to hurt Bella so I figured I'd kill 2 birds with 1 stone and you know…"

I didn't want to hear anymore. I ran out of there and bumped into jake.

"Hey there" he says steadying me

"Are you ok?" he asks when he sees my face

"Yes, but please don't ask?" I plead

"Ok" he says sighing "come on lets go. Edward texted me and said that him and alice were leave already."

"Ok" I answer.

The car ride is silent. I still can't get over their hatred for me. I thought they were accepting me but I was wrong. They all new of that, I was sure. The entire girl population of forks knew and they didn't say anything. How can they hate me so much? Can't they just accept that Jake is with me now?

"Here we are" Jake says pulling into my drive

"Thanks Jake" I say getting out of the car. "See you at school."

"See ya" he says

I pass the afternoon with Anna, I tell her everything, and she comforts me. After that we just hang out. We watch movies and talk. I'm thankful that my parents sent her. I don't know what I would do without her here.

Although things seem to end on a good note my brain refuses to let me end things good. It tortures me throughout the night with horrible dreams that make my heart hurt and leave me pleading for them to end for me to wake up.

It starts off weird…

"Please tell me you have this class with me" I plead to someone. Like in all my dreams the face is blurry but in this one it's not only the face but the whole body. I know it's a guy though.

We are in forks high and we are walking down the halls to my class.

_It's my first day of high school. _Says the voice in my head.

I was clutching his hand for dear life and I was so scared much like how I felt after what I heard in the girl's bathroom.

After what happened in middle school I was so scared that I depended on him. They were growing more vicious.

I hear him laugh beside me.

_Gosh what a beautiful laugh_

"No I'm afraid not BB" he says in the sweetest voice I have ever heard.

"You know I hate that nickname" I hear myself say. I can tell I'm trying to sound mad but it doesn't work and he sees right through me.

He pulls me towards him.

_I love being in his arms, it comforts me._

"Yeah I know but I love it" he responds

He gives me a kiss on the forehead which makes me melt on the inside.

"Please say you'll stay with me until class starts" I plead. I know I sound childish but I really needed him there. They wouldn't do anything to me if he was there.

He looks at me with pity and sadness. He and I both hate that I'm so needy but we both know that I'm not strong enough, I'm too weak.

"Yeah I'll stay with you Bella" he says in the saddest voice ever.

In part I'm ashamed but I'm also glad.

The dream ends there and it seems peaceful. I thought that's where my dreams would end but I was wrong that was just the clam before the storm.

My second dream is one I have already had but continues to affect me…

"Are you sure Bella?" my mother had asked. She had tears in her eyes

"Yes" I hear the girl say, she doesn't sound too sure of her answer though.

"Bella you'll be so far away. You know your father and I can't stand to live in one place…please? Just think about it a little more" she pleads.

I yell at the girl to stop to say no but like always it's useless. The result is always the same. I don't want to go!

At the end of this dream I'm almost in tears but my dreams continue…more vicious than before.

I'm in school again and I'm looking at a couple they are kissing each other and as I see them my heart breaks. The pain is so intense that it brings me to my knees. I clutch my chest to try and keep it together since it feels like it is being torn apart.

_Please stop. _I whisper _don't kiss her! Please! Just stop!_

As I'm watching the background changes, it goes black, and only the couple remains. But it's not only one girl. It's one girl after another.

Ah! It hurts so much! Please make it stop! Please!

I'm crying now

Each new girl increases the pain.

Why won't he stop?

I can't take it anymore I want to wake up! Why won't he stop? Doesn't he know he's hurting me?

Suddenly the couple disappears and it's only me and the guy. He takes me in his arms and comforts me. Once I'm in his embrace the pain seems to decrease.

"I'm here now Bella. I'll make all the bad dreams go away you just get some rest. I'm sorry" he says to me

After that I didn't have any more dreams good or bad. It was peaceful but I felt his presence. He was still there even when I didn't see him; I felt him, kissing me; my hand, my forehead and once even my lips. It was amazing…

**Sorry about the wait again but work has been tough lately. And well you probably don't care… anyway hope you liked the chapter it's longer than usual…hope I get reviews….**

**Oh and before I forget thanks to my reviewers: Edwardbellacullenfan, Neverendingimagination1210, and last but not least Eddib**


	6. Chapter 6

**Surprise! Here's another chapter. This one won't be as long as the last one but I just wanted to get this out there. Also I have decided to add songs to this story. I'll be adding the lyrics as the story goes beginning from the next chapter.**

**There's a surprise at the end...**

"Ms. Swan" says the receptionist

"Yes" I say looking up at her

"Dr. Meyer will see you now" she says opening the door.

I take a deep breathe even though I had already been here twice I still got nervous. Dr. Stephanie Meyer was my psychologist and I like I said I had seen her twice already, the first time was during the first week of school, the second was about a month ago, and here I am today. She said it was only to check up on and see if anything was the matter.

The first time I was here we had talked a lot about my dreams and what they could mean. The second time we had focused on my life at school, I wonder what we would talk about now.

"Hello Bella" said Dr. Stephanie in a serene voice.

"Hi" I said nervously

"There's nothing to be nervous about Bella, like I said last time I just want to check up on you. So how has everything been going?"

"Pretty much the same thing, my life is kind of boring actually" I say

"Tell me about a regular day for you?"

"Well hm...I wake up, well actually Alice wakes me up" I say smiling "very early and she picks out my clothes and does my hair and everything. After she's done she texts Edward so he can come and pick her up. I text Jake so he can come and pick ME up and we wait till they get there. They usually arrive at the same time"

" So Alice hasn't insisted on Edward taking both of you?" she asks referring to the day when Alice was adamant that Edward should take both of us since he was already there and it was stupid to make Jake come when he was already there. I could see that Edward didn't want to so I politely declined but she wouldn't take no for an answer and she threw a fit about it. She ended up accepting no for an answer when Edward said "SHUT THE FUCK UP Alice can't you see that she doesn't want to go with us! Just leave her the fuck alone damn it!" after that she didn't say anything to him for the rest of the day, which is a lot for them.

"No, thankfully she learned her lesson. She doesn't want to go with Jake either I used to think she didn't like him, but not anymore though, her relationship with Edward has changed her" I said somewhat sadly

"Oh they made it public!"

"No" I say feeling embarrassed "I've seen them though"

"Doing what?"

"They sneak around to see each other privately and I saw them hugging each other" I say looking down

"How do you know they're sneaking around maybe it's just a coincidence"

"I don't think so, Alice has been getting texts during lunch and after she reads them she always leaves. I followed her the other day and I saw that Edward was waiting for her by the locker rooms and as soon as he saw her he ran to her hugged her"

I know I should be happy for Alice but it makes me sad...and I'm worried...

"I'm guessing that nobody goes there during lunch"

"No" I say quietly

"So do your friends still take you to your classes?"

"Yes they do" I say smiling "even Edward though he usually tells me to go ahead of him. It's better that way; nobody is forced to be with people they don't like"

"You seemed more resigned about Edward not liking you"

"Yeah I am and not just about Edward though, the girls too. I realized that I couldn't force them to like me so I just accepted it"

"That's very mature Bella" she complemented

"Thanks" I say sadly

"You still wished he liked you don't you?"

"Yes but mostly because of Alice. Like I said she's been getting texts from Edward and whenever he needs her she's always there. She always drops what she's doing and goes to him especially lately. She's changed."

"You're worried about her why?" she asks

"Because I'm afraid he's only using her. I've heard girls talk about how he's still hung up on his ex and...I'm worried. I don't know who she is or anything but I'm scared Edward will leave her hanging if his Ex decides to...to like him again"

"I'm sure you know by now that there isn't anything you can do except be there for here if it happens"

Yes I did know and it sucks but I know she won't listen to me...

"Yeah I know, I've actually had a dream about it"

"Really What's it about?"

"Well funny enough it's about Alice giving me that same advice. We're at school and she tells me that 'he's only using me. That he's never there for me like I'm there for him'"

"Do you know who she's talking about?"

"No, Alice never mentions his name and the me in my dream doesn't provide the name either. I do know it's not Jake though he wouldn't do that to me and I don't know how to explain it but something in me tells me it's nit him"

" I see you're still having trouble admitting it's you but you've improved too now you admit out loud that it's you in a way." She says

"At least you don't say 'the girl' anymore" she continues

The first time I came I realized that I was disassociating in my dreams well memories. I wasn't admitting it was me, that those things had happened to me, and that I wasn't the one getting hurt. It was easier when something good happened then i could say 'that's me'"

"You know that they're memories though right?" Stephanie asks.

"Yes I just still haven't gotten used to calling them memories"

"How about memory dreams would that make it easier?"

"hmm, yeah I think so"

Stephanie just smiles

"Speaking of memory dreams have you had any involving 'the boy' have you been able to see his face?" that makes me smile looks like Dr. Stephanie is as intrigued with the boy as me.

"Yes I have had memory dreams about him but I haven't been able to see his face or remember his name" I pause unsure of whether I should say the next part or not.

"Yes" she prompts

"Well often when I wake up I get the feeling that I called him by name, in the dream, but no matter how hard I think I can never remember" I say feeling the frustration come back  
>" hmm that's interesting. It seems that your mind doesn't want you to remember this boy even though he's clearly important in your life...could it be that the high school boy and the childhood boy are the same?"<p>

"I don't know maybe...I don't see my boy past the age of 11 so it could be. Though from what I gather the high school boy always hurts me but rarely does he ever make it up to me. Heck I'm not even sure we were friends!"  
>"Your boy?" she asks smiling<p>

"Yeah" I say looking down feeling embarrassed "I kind of started calling him that. It just feels right" I finish shrugging

"Do you dream about the high school boy often?" she says getting back to my previous statement

"No" I say quietly "only twice actually. That other with the girls" I say shuddering. I still remember the feeling it was horrible "and the one where Alice is telling me he's using me. Do you really think they could be the same one?"

"I don't know you tell me"

"I think so, I don't know why though"

"Intuition maybe, you said Alice told you he was using you, what do you think? Was he really using you?"

I think back to the dream. I don't remember agreeing with Alice in fact I remember thinking 'you're wrong he needs me'

"No he needs me" I answer using the same words I was thinking

"Needs" Stephanie questions

"Needed" I correct

"How do you spend your afternoons?" she asks changing the subject

"I do my homework and hang out with Jake and /or Alice, sometimes it's just me and Anna though it's nice" I say smiling

"How are things with Jake?" she asks

"The same" I say frowning "he _still_ hasn't asked me out nor has he kissed me! I mean I know he doesn't want to pressure me into anything but I don't know how many more signals he wants!"

"Have you tried making a move yourself?" she asks with a hint of as amused smile.

"Edward once suggested it but it's just not me" I say with a small lopsided smile

"It's seems like you're happy and I'm happy that you're happy. You also seem to be able to handle life as it comes, even with your amnesia; you're a very strong girl with a very forgiving heart which is why I think that your heart and your mind are at war with each other"

Huh?

"Your heart has already forgiven the boy and it knows that he was special that's why it wants you to remember him. Your mind on the other hand doesn't seem to think you should after everything he's done; which is why you only get partial memories back. Your heart is battling against your mind to remember him and you will eventually but I don't want you to dwell on it. Live life in the present and take life as it comes." She pauses and clears her throat and straightens herself up. She has gotten a bit teary too. "I won't be requiring another session because you don't need one but word of advice Bella don't assume anything. Trust me assuming doesn't get you anywhere only trouble. With that said I wish that said I wish you luck Bella" she smiles at me.

"Thanks" I say giving her a teary smile

On my way home I think about everything she said and I can't help but smile I'm going to remember. I feel a sense of overwhelming joy.

That night I have the most amazing dreams. I dream of my boy being nice to me, of my high school boy kissing my nose and then my mouth but even though the dreams are amazing there's this twinge of sadness like a...goodbye. When I wake up the next morning my pillow feels damp like someone cried and a feeling a great depression over comes me.

Weird

EPOV

I'm dying and by my own hand. My death is slow and I know I deserve it but it still hurts...and I have a feeling I just made the biggest mistake of my life...the pain will increase...and I'm not even done.

"Did you talk to Jacob" Alice asks quietly as I get in the car

"Yes" I say hoarsely

"Oh Edward" she says "are you..."

"Yes I am" I interrupt snapping at her a bit. I don't want her to pity me anymore than she already does, everyone does and it sucks!

"How did he take it?" she asks taking the hint.

I smile a bit

"Upset" I laugh "he said if I was going to tell him how to have a relationship or what to do"

My laugh grows bitter.

"He said that since I was telling him what to do I should tell him to go to second base"

"He said that?" Alice says astonished

"Yeah, he'll do it though"

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because I said 'you wouldn't want her to think you don't love her do you' and that shut him up"

It was quiet until we got to her house

Are you going tonight?" Alice asks quietly

"Yes" I answer in a tone that said 'duh'

"I need to see her tonight. I'm...I'm going to say goodbye" I say with a lump in my throat.

"Are you sure you're string enough?"

"I have to be" I say

She gets out and I drive straight home and wait for night to come so I can see her. I know I'm not strong enough but I have to be...she needs it.

**What did you guys think? Any theories and poor Edward is suffering **

**Oh and by the way EPOV is on the same day that Bella's therapy session. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello readers! **

**I'm sorry for the late update. I meant to update sooner... sorry.**

**I don't own twilight sadly...**

"Well thanks Jake" I say while turning around and preparing to enter my first period class.

I don't know why but I feel sad... ever since I woke up I've felt this way and weirdest part is I don't even know why. Maybe something in my memory dreams?

"Uh Bella wait" Jake says and grabs my wrist "I uh need to talk to you" his voice sounds nervous.

"What is it Jake?" I ask concerned

"It's nothing bad I just well I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me...on a date..." he said while looking down at his feet.

I was stunned. I couldn't believe he was finally making a move!

I must have stayed quiet longer than necessary because he looked up and I could see he was scared that I hadn't answered. I decided to remedy that ASAP

"YES!" I say throwing myself at him in a hug. I was just so happy I thought he would never make the move.

I heard him laugh and his elation evident.

"Really" he asked pulling back searching my eyes for what I didn't know.

"Yes really you goof. I've been waiting for you to ask me out for the longest time" I said without thinking.

As soon as I realized I had said that out loud I snapped my mouth shut and covered it with my right hand. I couldn't believe I had said it out loud! I felt myself blush.

"It's ok Bella" he chuckled

_No it's not! God how could I be so stupid! Do I have no filter in my mouth? How humiliating! Way to go Bella!_

"Yeah" I say quietly still feeling embarrassed. I couldn't face him anymore "I'm going to go now. See you at the end of next class ok"

"Ok" he chuckled

I was mortified throughout the whole class I actually didn't know what we talked about in class. As I expected it was Alice who came and took to my next class.

"So" she said in a fake casual voice. "A birdie told me Jacob finally asked you out"

"Yeah..." I said I really didn't want to relive that most horrifying moment in my life.

"Aren't you excited?" she asked confused

"I would be if it wasn't for..." I trailed off I really didn't want to say it. Thankfully Alice knew what I was talking about.

"Don't worry about that B it wasn't that bad besides it's understandable he took a long as time to ask you out anybody could've said the exact same thing and it's not like you said anything bad or anything" she said trying to soothe me.

It worked but to a point.

"How did you find out about it?" I asked getting kind of worried I knew Jake wouldn't have said anything especially to her.

"Well..." she trailed off looking away.

"Yeah" I prompted

"The whole school kinda knows..,"

I slumped

"I knew it" I muttered defeated and feeling my humiliation going to knew levels.

"Don't worry nobody is talking bad about you" she tried to reassure me.

"That's not what I'm worried about" I said

"hmm don't worry about it Bella nobody would dare laugh at you. I made sure of it" she said

"Thanks Alice" I say turning towards her and giving her a lopsided smile.

"I bet Edward had a laugh" I say trying to make it sound nonchalant.

I knew he hated me and he was the only one who could get away with it because he was Alice's boyfriend and I'm sure he knew how to get Alice to forgive him.

"Yeah" she said in a hollow voice.

I turned to look at her and her eyes were distant. It's strange how much they're alike sometimes.

"Well here we are" she said as we reached my class. Her voice was happy but it was fake.

"Bye Alice see you later"

She didn't hear me apparently because she didn't respond.

The class went by very fast and before I knew it Jake was there to take me to my next class.

"So umm when exactly is our date" I asked "I need to get ready and stuff" I said awkwardly

"How about tonight" he said.

He had tried to make me feel better but it hadn't worked.

"Yeah ok" I said I still couldn't look him in the eye.

"Really Bella it wasn't so bad" he said again.

I just nodded my head and got in class I heard him sigh.

After that class Edward came up to me and said he wanted to talk to me.

"So...Jacob finally asked you out huh" he said quietly his eyes were sad though.

I wonder why

Maybe he and Alice had fight?

"Yeah" I said curtly quickly forgetting my concern for him.

I didn't want to talk to him about this. I didn't want to talk to ANYONE about this.

He sighed and looked away

I did the same thing

"You it wasn't so bad. Jake is actually glad you said that." He said

"Yeah bet he is." I replied.

"Come on Bell don't be such a baby about this. Jake is a great guy and all but he can be kind of stupid sometimes. He was really nervous about this and honestly thought you were going to say no." he said.

"Really" I ask

How could he think I would reject him?

Well he_ did_ seem kind of nervous...

"Yeah" he said like it was obvious.

"All guys are when they ask girls out. We all knew he had nothing to worry about but... you try making _him_ see that. Now he knows you actually like him. That's why he laughed because he was happy you liked him. Now he won't be so nervous on your guys' date"

I thought over what he said and felt better.

_Wow who would of thought Edward could be so nice_

"Thanks Edward" I say smiling  
>"you're welcome" he said smiling but it was a sad smile.<p>

My concern for him returned why was he sad? If he had a fight with Alice maybe I could him like he just helped me.

Before I could ask though he turned around away from me and said in a tight voice "you better go find Alice. I think she's going to take you shopping or something"

With that he left. He ran actually the opposite way from where all his friends were.

Guess he doesn't want my help.

I sigh

I turned and walked to where Alice was. Edward was right I needed Alice what was I going to wear?

The rest of the day was passed stressing over what to wear. Alice said she was finally taking me on a shopping trip. I had to postpone my date because apparently "_I_ needed more time" yeah right it wasn't me who needed more time but whatever I couldn't do this without Alice so... Jake understood though said it was ok.

He really was an awesome guy!

Unfortunately though Edward was coming along. I didn't know why but it felt wrong to have him there in more ways than one but Alice insisted said it was his punishment. She kind of scared me when she said it cuz there was this look in her eyes that was close to diabolical seriously no joke.

She insisted that it had to be afterschool since we would need all day tomorrow. So with am "hi Anna I'm home" and a "Bye Anna I'm going shopping with Alice" she dragged me out of the house an into Edward's Hummer. The car was HUGE and if Alice made good on her threat than we were going to do a lot of shopping.

_Wow! _

I thought sarcastically

The shopping trip was awful. Edward looked completely and utterly miserable like he was in pain actual pain. I wanted to say something but I feared I would make it worse so I didn't say anything. Alice didn't seem to mind I actually thought she didn't know or care until...

We were in the 6th store maybe, I had begun to lose count, and as I was stepping out to where Alice and Edward were waiting. We had our own private changing rooms believe it or not.

"You can go now Edward" I heard her say in a sad voice.

I peaked and she had her back to him and her eyes were watery.

"Thanks Alice" I could hear his relief and his gratitude towards her.

"mhm" is all she said

I don't think she could talk.

I heard his retreating footsteps and decided that it was a perfect opportunity to make my appearance. What I found truly shook me to the core.

Alice was on her knees and she was sobbing. She looked truly broken, I had never seen her like that, it was hard to believe it was Alice. Ever since I had woken up and ever since I had known her she had always been this strong girl nothing ever fazed her and to see her look so broken was...troubling.

I ran up to her and embraced her. I didn't know what else to do but it had helped me...

"Alice what's wrong?" I asked unsure maybe he had said something to her.

She just continued to sob.

"Oh Bella" she said between sobs "What's wrong with me?"

She erupted into another chain of sobs

"Nothing Alice" I answered anyway

It didn't help I think it even made it worse.

"How could I?" she asked still sobbing.

This time I didn't answer.

After almost an hour later she finally stopped. It hurt me to see her like this and it was all because of him. What had happened? Instead of asking all the questions that were going on in my head I asked her if she wanted to go home she said she was fine and that we had to continue to shop, it would distract her she said.

It took a while for us to get our mojo but we eventually did and it was almost as if nothing had happened. I was wary when it came time for us to go back home because apparently we had to go back with Edward. He had been waiting for us.

It was awkward at first mainly for me though because I couldn't get over what had happened earlier in the dressing rooms. Alice chatted away about what we would do tomorrow like it hadn't happened.

It was just strange...

The next day Alice took me to a day spa and we got pampered. It was nice.

When we got home she dressed me for my date and did my make-up. It was simple but I looked amazing. It was fun to hang out with Alice again just the two of us lately that isn't possible. She's always with Edward.

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts. I didn't want to ruin my mood; I would dwell on those later right now all I had to think about was Jake and our date.

It was 8 when he came and picked me up, right on time. He took me to dinner first to a restaurant called La Bella Italia, it was wonderful we talked easily and laughed a lot. Afterwards he took me to a walk on the beach and it was very romantic. I don't know if I had dated before but I must have since Jake was my boyfriend but this had to be the best date ever. He held my hand and we continued to talk about what we were planning to do when we graduated high school. He wanted to be doctor so he could help people. He told me about his life before we met about coming here but strangely enough he never talked about how we met or about anything that related to us, I tried to ignore it and I succeeded a little but it kept nagging at me in the back of my mind. Aside from that it was all perfect, romantic and simply magical.

At the end of our date when he took me home...he kissed me. I was so happy I even think I was glowing.

That night when I went to sleep my dreams took a while to come which felt strange to me since I was so used to them. But when they finally came I dreamed about my boy giving me nose kisses and called me "Bell". He would kiss my nose said it was more special and then it was the high school boy who gave me those nose kisses and called me "Bell". Something about that nickname seemed important somehow but I couldn't decide why.

When morning came I forgot all about the memory dreams and couldn't stop thinking about my date yesterday.

**The previous night EPOV**

I open the door to my house, well mansion really. I hated coming here because it felt cold and empty kind of like my heart. She had hardly been here but somehow her presence was missing.

"Hello Edward" said my housekeeper smiling

"Hello Debbie" my voice gave away my mood which shouldn't really surprise her I was always sad these days. "You can go to bed now I'm not going out tonight" I said and with that I went to my purgatory/sanctuary; my bedroom. It was heaven and hell for me, here in my room I could look at her all I wanted but it wasn't the same since they were only pictures. Her picture was everywhere some would think I was obsessed if they saw it maybe I was.

I went to my bed, which I hadn't used for several weeks now, and just tried to not to think about it, their date, their kiss and how happy she had looked.

She was happy and I was happy for her she deserved it after everything that happened...she deserved to be the happiest girl in the world.

The knife in the heart twisted again. The pain seemed to increase to a new level...

**what do you guys think so far? i don't know when I'll update because i'm trying to write it all down first but i promise not to leave you guys hanging too long...my fav chapter is comming up :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Hello Readers are there any out there still? Hope so cuz the best chapters are still to come…

Disclaimer: I didn't dream it which means I didn't write it therefore I don't own Twilight…yeah sucks to be me lol

It's been 2 weeks and everything is going wrong. On the surface everything's perfect but that's only on the surface and one seems to look beyond it.

Nobody notices anything wrong like the fact that Alice is hardly around anymore or the fact that Jake and I are more in a "friend" zone now. He only kissed me that one time on the lips and after that only kisses on the cheek; he still holds my hand and we still spend most of our time together and I guess that's why everyone is fooled because things seem to be going great as usual but they're not because the way Jake talks to me now is more like a friend, like I said friend zone. Maybe it's the whole waiting for me to regain my memory that has taken its toll on our relationship or maybe it's something I did wrong during our date; whatever it is I just wish I could talk to Alice about it but she's never around. She's scaring me though if I'm being honest her devotion to Edward isn't healthy specially since he doesn't love her the way she loves him don't ask me how I know this I just do.

And to top it all off my memory dreams about my boy have seem to abandon me as of late because now on a good night I have 1 dream only 1. I try to invoke them by thinking about him before I go to bed but it never works. I think I even look for them when I'm asleep but that doesn't work either. Nothing works and remembering the old ones isn't the same because when I'm having the dream I can literally feel him right there with me.

Good nights are rare though and most of the time I just catch the slightest glimpse of him before Alice wakes me up. I try not to but I kind of resent her for it sometimes.

Like I said it's taking its toll on me both Alice and Anna have mentioned that I have begun to look more tired. They both try to help in their way Anna by sending me to bed earlier thinking I just need more sleep but that's not it, obviously, and she sees it's not working. Alice helps by putting on extra make up and it does wonders on my face. When she's done I have that refreshed look that fools everyone.

Make up helps with the exterior but what about the interior? There's no make-up that and with both Jake and Alice pulling away and my boy evading my dreams I have begun to feel lonely. Sometimes I think I even cry while I'm asleep but I'm not so sure and since no one says anything I have let it go. All in all it's been a crappy 2 weeks and today didn't promise any better.

Alice arrived this morning, waking me up just when my boy was about to grab my hand so we could go play, and a white blouse and a white and baby pink skirt. Jake came to [ick me up around 7 and brought me to school. We talked about meaningless crap on our way to my first period class and when we got there we said goodbye and he gave me a kiss on the cheek and left. After first period was over Alice made an appearance and we went to second period. On our way there we talked about meaningless crap as well before she dashed off to her class and that's how my morning went, either Jake or Alice taking me to my classes and talking about useless thing like nothing was wrong. Like I said before maybe that's why nobody knows anything is wrong because we do such a great job at faking that everything is perfect.

I sighed

I was currently on my way to the bathroom…alone. I know big shock I persuaded Jake to let me go to the bathroom alone. At first he didn't want to but when he saw that it was annoying me that he said "no" he reluctantly said "ok I guess" and went to sit down at the table. Honestly thought this was getting ridiculous. It's not like I was a child! I was perfectly capable of going to the freaking bathroom on my own thank you very much.

I sighed again.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep or should I say rest that was making my mood so sour. Any other day I would've calmly explained to Jacob that I was FINE to go to the bathroom ALONE and wouldn't have snapped at him.

I was so distracted with my own thoughts that I wasn't paying attention to where I was going so I didn't see the people who were standing close to the entrance to the girl's bathroom until after I bumped into one of them.

"Oh I'm sorry" I said not really looking at the person

"It's alright Bella I'm glad I bumped into you actually specially since you're alone, you're a hard girl to get a hold of" he said

I had never heard his voice before, not since I had woken up from the coma but intuition I guess, alerted me to the danger of the person with that voice. It was James along with Riley and Laurent.

DAMN IT!

WHY HADN'T I BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? WHY HAD I INSISTED ON COMING ALONE?

"Hi James" I said trying to force my voice to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.

"You remember" he said surprised "I'm flattered Bella" he continued laughing.

I think he meant it to be reassuring but in no way did I feel reassured and his laugh only made it worse.

I didn't say anything to that partly because I didn't know how to respond to that but mainly because I was scared. I didn't know why but I just knew that he could and would hurt me. I tried to banish the thought because I wanted to try to stay calm so I could think clearly but it wouldn't go away.

DAMN IT! HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID!

I had seen him watching me and deep down I knew he was just waiting for an opportunity how could I just hand it to him!

It had been quiet for too long this wasn't good.

I cursed myself again.

"What's the matter Bella" James said cocking his head to the side "cat got your tongue?"

I just shook my head

I heard Riley and Laurent snicker from behind him.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked taking a step forward.

I immediately took a step back but shook my head "no" at his question.

"So let's go for a walk them" he said he said another step towards me.

I again took a step back.

"Bella" I heard a voice call out.

I was grateful for the interruption and I don't think I was ever happier to see him than at that moment. Without thinking I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and as soon as he hugged me back I knew I was safe.

I saw a flicker of confusion pass over their eyes but it was quickly replaced by hatred.

I shrunk back from the intensity of it.

_They hate him_

I shook my head now was not the time to be having flashbacks.

"Cullen" James sneered

"Hunter" Edward seethed

I was surprised I had never heard Edward's voice sound so angry before.

_Yes you have_

I was annoyed at myself by the voice

"What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay away?" Edward said in that same angry voice.

He's really pissed.

"Yeah well you know me…I'm kind of a knucklehead" said laughing .

I heard Edward growl.

"Calm down Cullen" James said "don't get your panties in a bunch. It was just an accident" he laughed

"Yeah I'm sure you spend a lot of time in the women's bathroom" Edward retorted

"Look here you little chicken shit I'm getting sick and tired of your fucken attitude. You don't want to push me trust me! I'm feeling a bit talky actually I"

"James" Victoria warned

She had just come out of the bathroom.

She grabbed his hand and his gaze snapped to her and he relaxed after a couple of minutes.

"Fine" he exhaled.

He sighed

"Guess I'll see you guys later come on boys Eddie got lucky today" he snickered.

Riley and Laurent did the same.

With that they all turned to leave.

"Calm down Edward please" I whispered when I felt his anger rising I didn't want him to go after James.

"Yeah calm" he whispered back

I felt him put his head on top of mine and felt him hug me tighter like I was a lifeline of something. We stayed that way for a couple more seconds.

When he pulled away I instantly missed him.

It's just because it's been a while since someone has hugged me and I've been feeling so low that I really needed it I rationalized.

"Bella what happened? Why were you alone with those guys huh? What were you doing alone in the first place!" he yelled angrily.

And just like that my previous annoyance was back.

_Way to kill a bonding moment Edward._

I huffed crossing my arms and turning sideways.

"Going to the bathroom" I retorted "which if you must know I'm perfectly capable of doing BY MY SELF! I'm not a child! I can take care of myself!"

"Yeah like this situation clearly showed"

At that I snapped my head towards him he was looking sideways, away from me.

"It was an accident okay" I said glaring

"Next time I'll take a better care of my surroundings"

"You weren't even paying attention" he asked surprised and clearly unfazed by my anger.

It just fueled my anger.

"You know what never mind with you" he said grabbing my hand "let's get you to Jacob"

"Wait" I said stopping

"What" he said exasperated.

"I…I still need to go to the bathroom"

It was humiliating but I had to go!

"You've got to be kidding me" he asked incredulously.

"Wish I was" I muttered.

He sighed.

"Fine" he said pulling towards the bathroom.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked when we passed the girl's bathroom.

"To the bathroom" he retorted

"We just passed the bathroom" I retorted back.

"I never said we were going to the girl's bathroom" he said smugly.

Before I could even ask what he meant I got my answer when we stood outside the _boy's_ bathroom.

"You've got to be kidding me"

"No you said you wanted to use the bathroom and I'm not letting you out of my sight. Now come on let's go" he said urging me forward.

"No wait" I said hesitating "what if there's someone in there"

That stopped him. He turned and eyed me for a second before coming behind me and covering my eyes.

"You're right let's go" he said

"Come on Bella or don't you want to go" he asked when I didn't move.

I debated for a couple of moments. Could I hold it? Maybe till the end of lunch? No I can't. What if I wait till I get to the table and ask a girl to come with me? No I can't I REALLY need to go!

"Ok" I finally said feeling humiliated.

He guided me into the bathroom. When we got in I heard a couple of whistles and I felt my face redden.

God what must they be thinking!

"WOOP! Go Cullen!" someone cheered.

"Alright Out!" Edward commanded.

Surprisingly no body objected or said anything else they just quietly got out.

"Alright everyone's out. Go on in Bella" Edward said uncovering my eyes.

"You're going to stay in here aren't you" I asked

"Yup" he said without missing a beat "now go in"

I took a deep breath and turned around.

_I can't believe I'm doing _this

"I'm done" said not looking at him.

"Let's go"

I didn't dare look at him the rest of the way.

I don't know maybe it was the expression on my face but when we got there Jacob came to my side and hugged me. I hadn't noticed until then but I had really needed a hug.

"Jake" I sighed

"Bella are you ok? Edward what happened?"

"James" Edward growled "I think he's been" he paused and took a deep breath to calm himself "stalking Bella. He's been watching her" he turns and looks at me expectantly.

I look up at Jake and he's also looking at me the same way.

"Well I have noticed them watching me…sometimes" I lied.

"Just sometimes though"

"Bella why didn't you tell us" Jake asked

"Stay away from him Bella!" Edward practically yelled scaring me.

"Edward calm down" Alice said suddenly appearing and going towards him. She placed her hand on his chest and looked at him just like Victoria had looked James.

IT'S WRONG!

NO!

I turn and hide my face in Jake's Chest. For once I wasn't angry at the voice I couldn't feel anything but anguish and this tightness in my chest.

Jake starts to rub my back comfortingly and hugs me tighter and the tightness in my chest loosens a little. I wound my arms around him desperate to feel normal again.

_Why do I feel this way?_

I tried not to feel nor think. I focused on Jake and how good it felt to have him there. He's good for me.

Sometime later I heard someone exhale probably Edward

"I'm sorry Bella" Edward apologizes.

"It's ok" I say but I don't know if he understands me since I still have my face buried in Jake's chest.

Nobody said anything after that but I heard them leave

"Come on Bella" Jake says as he pushes us someplace.

"I'm sorry Jake" I say with tears in my eyes.

"No No Bella you did nothing wrong not really we should've told you" he said

"then why was Edward so angry" I asked

"I'm sorry about him, but he and James have this rivalry going on between them and they can't stand each other. That's why he reacted the way he did. I'm sorry you had to see that but please don't take it personally" he reassured me.

The rest of lunch was passed in silence. Jake was Jake and like always just held me and was there for me.

_I always knew he would be good for me…_

Drama drama drama….

So that was chapter 8… I was going to make it bigger but decided against it because it would be too long but rest assured I have the next chapter already and I think ok chapter 10 I just need finish writing and typing it..

Thoughts?

Review please 5 reviews and you get next chapter by Wednesday just saying


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello Again here's chapter # 9 it's one of my favs tell me what you all think**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight because sadly my dreams aren't that good…well they ARE good they just don't make me money.**

**Oh and about Jake's costume don't hate me …I had decided way before anything…**

"Hey Bella guess what?" Alice says excitedly

School is almost out; thank god I don't think I can take much more of this. I'm surprised to see Alice though usually it's Edward who takes me to my next class since it's his too maybe he's still upset?

Should I ask Alice?

I turn to look at her and she doesn't seem upset so maybe I got it wrong? Maybe they made up?

I heard them fighting. I didn't really get why they were fighting just that it was over the lunch thing.

I shake my head. It's none of my business.

"What Alice? What has you so wired?" I ask

Maybe he asked her to be his girlfriend?

"There's a costume party on Friday!" she exclaims

"Oh a costume party…" I trail off.

"Yeah! Why do you say it like that? What did you think I was going to say?"

I wonder how Edward is…

I shake my head I don't know why I care so much since he clearly hates me.

I had an earlier encounter with Edward and let's just say it didn't go well. I tried to help but Edward just told me to butt out that it was none of my business. I was just trying to help since he helped me but he didn't want it and he made that perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with me.

"No I just…you know what never mind. What's the occasion?"

"I think it's just a party someone thought of. Good idea though things have been tense all around don't you think?"

"Umm yeah I guess…" I say unenthusiastically

"OMG! We need to buy our costumes! Stupid bitches probably thought they could get away without inviting us." She huffs "well sucks for them because Edward would never go without us!"

"If they didn't want us there in the first place then why are we going?" I ask

Alice sighs

"look Bella first of all them not wanting is nothing new, they just thought they could get away with it this time." she explains "Sadly both our reps have suffered slightly but we're still on top and we aren't going to deny ourselves some much needed fun because of stupid girls ok. Besides I think both Jacob and Edward need this. Don't you think?"

"I guess" I say shrugging.

There really is no point in arguing with her she always gets what she wants.

Something about my last thought makes my heart hurt and suddenly there's this pain in the chest.

Alice continues talking. I don't think she notices that I'm not really paying attention anymore. I just keep walking beside her. When we get to my class I thank her and go in.

The class flies by fast. As usual Edward and I hardly talk and surprisingly enough Alice is there right when the bell rings.

_Didn't she go to class? Not even Jake's this fast_

"Alice didn't you go to class? How did you here so fast? I ask

"Of course I did silly"

"Yeah I'm sure you did Alice" Edward says "I bet you spent last period somewhere thinking about costumes for the party"

Edward laughs.

Alice just sticks her tongue out like a 5 year old and takes my hand and drags me out the door.

"Anyway BELLA I'm here to go shopping remember? We talked about it when we were going to your class?"

"Yeah…" I lie

"Oh my god you're so lying!"

"No I'm not" I defend myself but I cave as soon as see Alice's glare.

"Ok fine I didn't but come one Alice! You weren't paying attention to me either or else you would have noticed"

"Fine" she huffs "guess I got excited about the party"

"Why don't we forget about it?"

"Ok I guess" she responds but doesn't sound so enthusiastic

"So what were you thinking costume wise?" I ask trying to get her back to her over excited self.

"Well I was thinking that for you we could do some sort of fairy. I was looking up pictures on the internet and found some amazing ones! Trust me you'll love them when you see them. For Jacob I was thinking we could go for "The Huntsman" you know from "Snow White and the Huntsmen" movie?" she asks but continues on without waiting for my answer. I just smiled glad to have her back to normal.

"Oh! I just got an idea why don't we go for some sort of woodland fairy for you that way you'll both match somehow" she says winking at me

"Yeah that sounds great" I answer surprised she waited for my answer this time.

"Yey!" she says jumping up and down while clapping her hands.

I laugh she's just too funny sometimes.

"What about you and Edward?" I ask

"Well for Edward I was thinking "Zorro" I found this cute costume that will just make him look even more gorgeous" she says with a dreamy sigh.

_She really loves him _I think somewhat sadly.

_Why can't I be happy for her?_

"Anyway for me…don't laugh ok" she warns pointing a finger at me.

"I promise"

"Well Edward made a joke about me being "Tinker Bell" and I thought it was a great idea"

"Oh" I say trying not to laugh.

"So uh who's taking us shopping?" I ask.

I really don't want Edward to go because of what happened last time.

"nobody Felix, my driver, brought my car"

"Alice if you have both a CAR and a DRIVER why do you always come with Edward?" I ask curiously without thinking

"Just convenience" she answers but quickly starts to talk about make-up and other thing's we'll need.

_Maybe they live close to each other_

I shrug it off.

_None of your business Bella!_

Shopping is kinda fun. Nothing bad happens and I actually love my costume! All our costumes look good. I can't wait to see everyone in their costumes.

**M.S.F.**

Friday morning Alice wake's me up just as I catch the first glimpse of my boy and that doesn't leave me in a very good mood.

Alice repeatedly asks what's wrong.

"Nothing" I tell her time and time again.

My boy is only mine, it's private.

School goes by somewhat fast…thank god. Jake never asks me what's wrong but he manages to get me out of my bad mood by third period. From then on the day seems beautiful and I laugh for the rest of the day. Jake seems more boyfriendy.

I hardly see Alice or Edward all day but that's good because Edward always ruins the mood with his attitude.

Alice takes me to my last 2 classes so we can talk about where we're all going to get ready and stuff. We decide to do it at my house since it's so big and Alice is a control freak who wants us to look exactly how she envisioned us.

**Later that day at Bella's house**

Alice comments on my mood improving and I just shrug.

Her hard work pays off though because we all look amazing!

"You look really beautiful Bella" Jake says when he sees me.

I smile

"Thanks Jake you look really handsome as well"

"Thanks" he says looking down embarrassed.

"How do I look Edward?" Alice asks from behind me.

I turn towards them.

"You look great Alice" he says with a sad smile.

_Wonder why he's sad?_

_Ugh! Stop it Bella!_

I shake my head

I turn to Jake but he's looking at Alice strangely almost like he's wondering what she's doing.

See what I mean about Edward ruining perfectly happy atmospheres! Ok so it's not really his fault but….everyone's reactions confuse me!

We take a couple of pictures before leaving …some of us as a group, others of the couples together, others of the boys together and of Alice and me alone.

When we get the party we unsurprisingly separate. Alice takes Edward in one direction and Jake and I go another.

I'm having a blast! Jake and his friends, whom I now consider my friends, are really fun to hang out with.

As the night goes on though a feeling of dread starts to creep up on me. It's like a premonition. I try to shake it off because really what could go wrong? It's absolutely ridiculous! But it doesn't really go away it's always there at the back of my mind.

Almost 4 hours after we got to the party, that the same feeling that has been bothering me all night intensifies to the point where it can no longer be ignored.

_Something's wrong! We have to get out of here! Someone's in trouble_

My breathing becomes labored and I start to cry all of a sudden.

"Bella what's wrong" Jake asks stopping abruptly; we had been dancing.

"I don't know" I say sobbing "something's wrong though Jake please" another sob breaks through leaving me unable to continue talking when I most need it.

Jacob takes me in his arms

"Please what? What's wrong Bella? Why are you crying like this? You were fine just a minute ago" he starts to rub my back trying to soothe me.

My heart feels like it's been squeezed painfully and causes another sob leaving me once again unable to talk.

_I have to check on Alice! Something's wrong!_

"Please Jake we have to find Alice" I say.

"Ok we will just calm down"

"What's wrong with Bella" Jared asks as they all come over to us. I guess they all noticed I don't care I just need to make sure Alice is ok.

"we..we have to find Alice Jared please find Alice! Please Jake we HAVE to leave here right now!"

"We will Bella we will ok just please calm down"

"Ok everyone separate so we can find her quicker" he instructs everyone.

I feel myself getting more desperate by the second.

"Where is she Jake? We've looked everywhere!" I say frantically

"We'll find her Bella don't worry" he reassures me.

Finally almost 5 minutes later we find her by the hall at the front door.

As soon I see her I run to her.

"Oh my god Alice are you ok?!" I say hugging her tighter

"Yes of course Bella what's wrong? Why are you crying?" she responds hugging me back

"What have you done to her mutt?" she says angrily

I don't have time for their squabbles though we_ need_ to get out of here!

"Alice we have to go come on" I say trying to pull her out the door but she doesn't budge and turn towards Jake for an explanation.

"I don't know she was fine one minute then the next she was like this." He says gesturing towards me " Bella now that you see that Alice is ok will you please tell us what's going on?"

"I don't know what's wrong. I just know that we need to get out of here NOW!" I say pulling Alice's hand again.

"Bella nothing's wrong look" Alice says motioning around the room, some were staring, I don't care I just want to leave!

"What do you feel Bella? Why do you think something is going to happen?" Jake asks

"I have this feeling of complete devastation, like something bad is going to happen" I say laying my head on Alice's shoulder "please we have to go" I say in a defeated tone.

Why won't they listen to me?

Maybe I can get Edward to…

I suddenly stand up straight when I realize that Edward is nowhere to be found. I look around frantically trying to find him but when I don't see him the feeling comes back a thousand fold.

"Alice where's Edward?" I say anxiously " we need to find him please! Go find him!" I yell because the uneasiness grows even more.

Oh my god it's him! It's him! Edward's the one in trouble

"pl…please Alice, Jake we need to find"

I'm unable to finish because just then the door opens and in comes Raul and Diego dragging a very beaten up Edward.

_NO! EDWARD NO!_

A cry escapes me and everything goes quiet.

They throw him to our feet.

His whole face is covered in bruises and at least half his face is covered in blood. I'm left feeling numb. I want to turn to Jake and hide but I'm unable to move.

"You killed him" I hear Alice say in a vacant tone.

I turn towards her and find and her knees with Edward's head on her lap, however she isn't looking at him.

I go and kneel beside her to try and give her some sort of support. I'm still feeling numb so I can't do anything else but just be there. Some of the numbness goes away when Alice turns to look at me. I try to convey how sorry I am through my eyes. I should have thought about him.

"he's not dead" I hear Victoria say

I turn around and see her behind Raul and Diego.

Alice seems to come back to life because next thing I know she's on her feet struggling against Jake's hold. She wants to rip Victoria to pieces I'm sure.

"You fucken bitch what have you done to him?" she yells still struggling to break free.

"You should be thankful to me actually. If it wasn't for me Edward would really be dead" she says looking down at me and Edward on the floor.

"you see" she says looking back at Jake and Alice "Edward came to _us._ He thought it was a good idea to piss James off. Now James saw that he was wasted so he was a bit lenient with him but Edward kept pushing and pushing and well you know James" she said smiling "he has a temper and finally lost it when he called me a slut"

"Which was wrong how?" Alice asks

Victoria turns towards Alice looks at her up and down sizing her up.

"I don't sleep around" Victoria answers.

"oh yeah I forgot you just sleep"

"That's enough Alice!" Jake yells

"Why would you save him after he insulted you?" Jake asks "I know you didn't do it out of the kindness of your heart"

Does it matter? All that matters is that he's safe!

I look down at Edward he looks so broken

_Oh god_

A sob escapes me.

Without thinking I place his head on my lap and start to comb his hair back. I look sideways and find his bandana I take it and start to clean his face.

"Because I had a debt to pay to someone but now I think we're even so I want to deliver a message"

"Oh yeah and what message is that?" Alice asks

"Not to you, you deceitful bitch" Victoria says angrily to Alice

She pauses for a minute.

"This is the last time I will save his worthless ass got it" she says and I have the strangest sense that she's talking to me.

I shake my head

_Now's not the time _

"Message delivered, now please go" Jake tells her through gritted teeth.

I look up then and catch her just in time.

"Thank you" I say

I realized that nobody had thanked her for saving him.

She stops turns around looks at me and replies "you're welcome" and turns back and leaves but I can see that she's smiling how strange…

"Paul and Sam let's get Edward off the floor and to one of the rooms here. Aaron I think the party's over please escort everyone out" Jake says as soon as the door closes behind Raul.

"Excuse me Bella" Sam says

I scoot over to the side

Paul and Sam lift Edward off the floor and carry him upstairs.

"Be careful" I hear Alice say while following them upstairs.

"Come on Bella let's get you cleaned up" Jake says grabbing both my shoulders and pulling me to my feet.

I look down and see that both my hands are covered in blood. Edward's blood.

"I'm sorry" I say "I should've"

"shh Bella you did nothing wrong ok it's not your fault. You heard what Victoria said he was looking for a fight"

"But I…I didn't even think about him until"

"Bella it's not your fault ok" Jake interrupts "Now come on let's get you cleaned up"

Jake takes me to one of the bathrooms upstairs and cleans my hands while I just stand there. I can't help but feel guilty for not thinking about Edward. I try to take some comfort by telling myself that I just assumed Edward was with Alice and if Alice was ok then Edward would be too but it doesn't work. How could I forget about him? Sure we're not friends or anything not really but he's still around and saved me from James that one time.

After my hands are clean Jake takes us to the room where Edward is. The boys are outside looking kind of like guards and I can hear Alice inside crying.

We enter the room and the scene inside breaks my heart. Edward lying across half the bed, his feet still touch the ground, and Alice is kneeling beside him on the bed. She's finishing cleaning his face.

_That should be me! _Says the voice viciously

I'm startled by the anger and it causes me to stand straight.

Why am I suddenly so upset?

Why would I even think that?

God I'm confused

I shake my head

Now is not the time Bella! I reprimand myself

"Maybe we should call the doctor or something" Jake suggests

"I already did" Alice says without looking up "he'll be here in 30 minutes when he's finished with a patient"

Again my irritation flares by her words

_Why does it matter who called the damn doctor huh! Or who's cleaning Edward's wounds the important thing is that they're being done! God Bella focus!_

I'm right, the important thing is that the doctor is coming and that someone is taking care of him. Somehow I'm still not convinced and still kind of irritated.

"oh" is Jake's brilliant response

Great now I'm mad at Jake?

_What the hell Bella?_

It's quiet for a minute

"Those towels look pretty used up, we should go find some more and while we're at it we might as well look for some alcohol and stuff come on Alice" Jake suggests suddenly

"no take Bella" Alice responds still not looking up

"uh Bella looks kind of tired" he says shooting me a look

What is he doing?

"I think it's best if she stays here looking after Edward" he responds giving me that same look.

I look down in shame when I realize that I want to stay with Edward and I find myself trying to act tired.

I can tell by her voice that she doesn't want to go. Maybe I should volunteer?

"He should be unconscious till we get back but if he wakes up please don't let him move I think he has a broken rib" Alice pleads

I nod still unable to look up.

I hear her get up and leave with Jake.

When I hear the door close I look up and walk to the bed

I have to admit that without that angry look he usually gives me, even in his bruised up state, I can see that he's gorgeous. Now I know what Alice sees in him. It must be nice being able to look at him and have him smile at you. I think he's even cuter than Jake.

I quickly back away and go to stand in my original position in one of the corners of the room. I'm horrified at myself what was I thinking this is Alice's boyfriend! I shouldn't be thinking about him this way! Besides I have a boyfriend!

_And don't forget that he hates you _I think sadly

Ugh! Why is my mind so confusing? First it's all "that should be me" then its going all goo goo over Edward's good looks and smile and now I'm sad over the fact that Edward hates me!

Maybe I _am _crazy

I laugh at that

_Great Bella just great_

I hear Edward groaning and turn to look at him.

"Edward are you ok?" I ask tentively

I want to go to his side but with him you never know. He might not want me around.

"Please don't move" I say remembering what Alice said.

"Bella" he groans

My heart skips a beat when I hear him say my name.

_Not now! Not ever!_

"Yes it's me" I answer quietly because I'm afraid of how my voice will sound.

He doesn't open his eyes but he turns in my direction and slowly opens his eyes.

I smile

He gives me the most breath taking smile, the same one he gave me at the hospital that one time.

"Bella what are you doing all the way over there? You won't believe I" he suddenly stops takes a look at his surroundings and finally looks at my costume.

His expression changes. Before it was almost happy maybe even relieved but now it's a strange mix of dread and pain and anger.

"Where are we?" he asks

"Umm I think its Aaron's house? I'm not sure but I think it's his house since Jake addressed him about the party being over"

He groans and grabs his chest.

"Is something wrong? Does something hurt? Maybe I should go look for Alice" I say anxiously

"Its ok don't worry" he assures me

"But" I begin to protest

"I said I'm FINE Bella!" he yells angrily

I jump surprised by the anger. I was only concerned about him geez I can never win with him can I?

My anger returns.

"Fine you say you're ok well then maybe you could explain to me how you could be so stupid Edward! How could you go and pick a fight with James especially when he was with his whole gang! How could you be so stupid as to insult Victoria! You know James and Riley can't stand having her being looked at the wrong way much less have her insulted!"

"I have my reasons ok" he retorts still looking away.

"Yeah well I want to know them you scared us! So what were your precious reasons?"

"You don't want to know" he says in a low voice

"Don't you tell me what I want and don't want! Tell me!"

His head snaps to me and there's that familiar anger he always directs towards me.

"Fine you really want to know why I did it. Huh? Ok fine I went to James and picked a fight because I'm in pain!" he says and for once I see his guard is down and I'm able to see that the anger was only a façade to cover up the pain. It's as clear as daylight in his eyes.

"Pain" I whisper stunned

"Yes pain" he says looking straight into my eyes and holding my gaze. "I am in constant pain! I thought I could handle it but I was wrong! It hurts just to look at her, to think about her! But I can't stop thinking about her she's always there in the back of my mind when I'm in class and when I'm not she has front stage in my thoughts. She's all I think about every second of every day. I see her and I can't help but look at her, my legs immediately want to go to her, my arms want to hold her, to touch her and my lips long to kiss her and the fact that I can't do that hurts."

_What's wrong? Why do I feel like this? What's this I'm feeling in my chest? _

I put my hand on it trying to relieve it but it doesn't work

"And every time I see her with him I feel like I want to rip his body to shreds for touching whats mine!" he gives a humorless laugh "But she isn't mine and that brings eve more pain. My heart feels like someone is someone is squeezing it painfully and won't let up. Sometimes I even think I stop breathing."

_Oh my heart! _

_Aww it hurts!_

_Stop please I don't want to listen anymore!_

_Please stop I can't breathe!_

I want to scream all these things but I can't.

I'm gasping for air and the pain seems to be growing.

"So you see Bella I'm in constant pain because I'm still in love with her! And not being with her hurts so much I wanted to die!"

Tears are running down my face, I can hardly stand and I can hardly breathe and the pain is too much to bare.

"please" I squeak "help"

"Oh my god Bella I'm so sorry!" he says when he notices the state I'm in.

"Come here Bella please. Ow! Please come here" he pleads

He scoots over and pats the space beside him.

I walk to him as fast as I can but it's still too slow. The pain makes it hard to walk.

_It hurts too much! Why won't it go away!_

I cry harder.

Finally I reach the bed after what seems like an hour but it was only a couple of minutes.

"Come here Bella" he says once again and opens his arms.

I sit at the edge of the bed and lay my head on his chest and just let him hold me.

"Sshh it's ok Bella, I'm sorry Baby please forgive me. I lied ok look I'm good" he says trying to comfort me.

"It hurts" I wail

"I know Belle and I'm sorry I'll take away the pain"

We're in each other's arms for a long time. He comforts me until I stop crying and continues to hold me even after. We don't talk we just stay there.

"Bella I'm sorry for taking to so long…" Alice trails off

We instantly pull apart but it's too late she had already seen me in Edward's arms.

I wipe my eyes and stare at my feet.

"What's going on here?" Alice asks.

She's trying to hide it but I know she's upset.

"Nothing Alice" Edward sighs

I hear Alice take a deep breath

"Bella I think Jake still needs your help" she says calmly

"Ok" I say quietly and leave the room without a glance at either of them.

**APOV**

They were…in each other's arms. Edward and Bella were hugging each other. How? Why? Did she remember?

No,that's not possible! She can't!

_Shouldn't you be happy for her? She's you friend right?_

_Just shut up _I think back to the voice

"What's going on Edward? Why was Bella…crying." I ask barely managing to say "crying" instead of "in your arms".

He would think it an odd question and he might suspect. Besides even though things are complicated right now she's still my friend and I still care about her.

_Yeah you just don't want her to remember cause then…_

"Nothing was going on" Edward answers looking away.

"Don't tell me that nothing was going on! I saw her dried tears Edward! She doesn't cry for no reason! Now tell me what you did to her!" I yelled at him not caring if anyone heard.

"Nothing! Alice nothing! Ok! It's none of your fucken business!"

"You know what fine! Don't tell me but make her cry again and I swear…" I warned.

**So what did you guys think? **

**I'll put pictures of the costumes up on my Facebook if you want to see them just pm me.**

**Review please**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello Readers here's the next chapter **** I'm sorry for the wait….**

**Please read and review **

**As always I don't own Twilight or any other recognizable characters.**

**BPOV**

Things are _horrible! _I feel like I'm losing everyone.

My weekend was lonely, neither Jake nor Alice called; it's not that unusual for Alice, these days her world practically revolves around Edward. I probably wouldn't mind if Jake had been around. Edward obviously didn't call either, he never does, yet I found myself wishing he would call or better yet come over. But that's just because I was lonely.

My parents didn't visit me either. I almost cried because of it and to make matters worse I have been having nightmares about the crash. It's still a bit blurry but I'm arguing with someone, a boy. He keeps asking if I love him I think he's jealous because he talks about seeing me with someone else and says "is that how much you love me? Huh you're just like all the other" and that's when we crash.

I don't think anyone notices how I wake up screaming. I guess it's good because I'm not ready to explain.

It's now Monday and so far things don't look much better. Oh sure Alice came this morning, much to my surprise, and picked out my outfit and did my make-up but she hardly talked to me. I tried making conversation but let's just say she wasn't helping so it soon died down.

I tried apologizing for what happened Friday but she wouldn't let me finish and speaking honestly there wasn't anything to apologize _for_. We didn't do _anything _he just held me while I cried but Alice certainly thought something else had happened and it obviously affected her which was why I had tried apologizing.

When Jacob came to pick me up he acted as if things were fine and they probably were except for the fact that he ignored me all weekend and now I felt him distant again. I don't know how to explain it but it seems worse now, like it could be permanent and it was both scaring me and made me feel lonely.

When we got to school he took me to my class immediately without saying a single word to me. To say I was stunned would be an understatement.

On the drive to school I thought that maybe Alice told him about what she saw and that maybe he also thought there was something wrong with Edward hugging me.

"_Is that how much you love me? Huh"_

Oh god the nightmare! Maybe I've had problems with Jake before! Misunderstandings. Maybe that's why he's so mad. I have to explain and make him realize it was nothing. Maybe I should stay away from Edward; no that would only make it worse they would think that something was going on.

I'll talk to Jake I'll make him see that nothing is going on.

After class it was Alice who came. I knew it would be her but I _really_ needed to talk to Jake!

Alice continued with the silent treatment and I was beginning to get fed up. WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

After second period I tried talking to Jake about Friday but he said he knew nothing had happened. I then asked if anything else was wrong he said no, smiled and grabbed my hand. It wasn't the same, it didn't feel the same, I could tell and feel that the action was forced.

After that I just stopped trying. When they were done being idiots we would talk.

So here I sit now with Jacob at lunch pretending everything is alright when the truth is nothing is. Alice is nowhere in sight and neither is Edward.

Actually I hadn't seen him all day and I would be lying if I said I hadn't been affected. Actually I had missed him which was weird because I rarely saw him or hung out with him, so there was no reason for me to miss him or keep looking for him but that's what I found myself doing.

Was it maybe because of that hug? Had it really been more? I _did_ feel very good and comforted and safe in his arms and maybe I didn't want to let go, maybe I wanted to stay there forever, maybe that hug changed my perspective of him and maybe just maybe I longed to be back in his arms.

Ugh!

I shook my head.

I can't be having these thoughts about him. He's my best friend's boyfriend for god's sake!

_You don't know that_

Ugh! Just stop it Bella! You CAN'T be having these thoughts about Edward because even if he isn't her boyfriend at the very least you know she loves him!

The last thought made me want to cry. I had to get out of here and be alone so I could clear my thoughts.

"I'll be right back" I said quietly

"Where are you going?" Jake asked.

I was surprised since he had been ignoring me.

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine" I say smiling "just going to the bathroom"

"Ok I'll go with you" he said while getting up.

I just gave him a look.

It's not that I minded him coming not really; I just needed to be alone right now.

"Look I know you're worried but don't be. I'll be fine! I swear!" I say smiling "and neither James nor his gang have so much as looked at me. Whatever you guys told him worked because they haven't come near me but I swear I'll be more careful this time and keep my eyes open. Please this is ridiculous!"

Jake sighed

"Ok but please be careful"

I smiled

"I will"

And I did. I walked fast and watched my surroundings.

When I got to the bathroom, I patted some water I my face, then I went into one of the stalls. I didn't really have to go but I just need privacy, to feel like I was truly alone.

Once inside I sat down and thought about everything.

Why had I missed Edward so much this weekend? I know it wasn't only because I was lonely but the only other reason would be because I cared about him in some way and I guess if that was only as a friend then it wouldn't be so bad but somewhere deep down I know that I don't see Edward as just a friend and I can't think like that because there are so many things against us.

First there isn't even an "us" Edward might not hate me but he certainly doesn't want to be my friend either heck he doesn't want to be anywhere near me!

That last thought made me sadder but I forced myself to keep going.

Second he's Alice's…something. They might not be boyfriend/girlfriend but Alice _does love_ him. I can see it in her eyes and she doesn't hide it like she used to.

Again that just made me even sadder.

And the saddest part of all was that Edward didn't love either of us, he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend.

"_I love her"_

I can still remember the pain in his voice when he said it.

I was startled out of my thoughts by the sound of the door opening.

I had been crying a little so I didn't want anyone to see me so I just stayed there and hoped they wouldn't find me.

"Can you believe the nerve of that bitch!" I hear Lauren say.

"She's a back stabbing slut who uses the fact that Edward is now single to worm her way into his heart"

"Guess she wasn't so paranoid after all" I hear Tanya say with a laugh. "Too bad she can't do anything about it now"

"Yeah she basically has him already" Jessica confirms

"Really? Why do you say that? Things could change" Tanya says hopefully

"No they're already sleeping together. I mean why else would he always go to her house so late at night. Heck just last night I saw him arrive at like 1 AM and when I woke up 5 hours later his car was still there" Jessica says matter a factly.

"No wonder Victoria called her a deceitful bitch" Lauren says with disgust

"Yeah at least we're honest about who we are." Tanya agrees "Well most of the time" she laughs.

I didn't hear the rest of the conversation because they left the bathroom. I didn't want to hear anymore. I couldn't believe they were sleeping together.

I got out of the stall and the bathroom in a daze. I was just so stunned. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going I just couldn't get couldn't get beyond the fact that they were sleeping together.

"Oops sorry, oh Bella thank god I was just coming to look for you. Hey are you ok what's wrong?" Jake asked worried

"They're sleeping together" I said

"What? Who?"

"Alice and Edward"

"where did you hear that? You know what it doesn't matter because it's not true trust me" he said trying to reassure me.

"Really" I asked not convinced "then why did he go to her house at 1AM and why was he STILL there at 6 AM?"

"I…I don't know but please believe me it's not true" he said

"Ok" I said. I didn't really believe him but there was no point in arguing with him, he hadn't believed it since the beginning and wouldn't believe now.

We went back to the table and I pretended again. I was beginning to feel comfortable pretending, it seemed like I was doing it more and more these days.

Jake took me to class like usual. I didn't pay attention though because I couldn't get that thought out of my head.

"_they're sleeping together"_

"_they're sleeping together"_

"_they're sleeping together"_

Over and over it kept repeating.

Suddenly I remember a conversation I had with Alice before the party.

"_Alice if you have both a CAR and a DRIVER why do you always come with Edward?" I had asked_

"_Just convenience" _

At the time I just thought that they lived close by but no they were sleeping together! That was the convenience!

When Alice came to pick me up after class I was mad. Why didn't she tell me? I thought we were friends! What did she think I would think any less of her or something?

Now it was ME who didn't want to talk to HER.

During class I remember something. Edward didn't love Alice. How could he do this to her? How could he just use her?

"Hi Bella" Edward said

It felt so incredibly good to hear his voice.

"Did you sleep with her?" the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"What?"

"You heard me are you sleeping with her. Are you sleeping with Alice?"

"How could you Edward? She's my friend!" I said before he could answer

"So what it would be ok if I slept with someone else?" he asked angry now

"What?" I asked confused

"Nothing just forget about it." He replied calmly

His moods change so quickly…

Before I could ask again he answered

"And no I'm not sleeping with her. People just like to make up stupid rumors to make their lives more interesting"

Is it bad to say I was relieved? That I was ecstatic that Edward and Alice weren't sleeping together. Its wrong I know but I was only glad because I knew he didn't love her at least that's what I told myself.


	11. Chapter 11

**JPOV**

_Where could she be?_

I've been looking for Alice for days now but I could never get her alone. She was always with Edward.

"Hey Alice" I yell spotting her ahead "wait up"

She turns around and I can see it clearly on her face that she regrets stopping.

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you for days" I ask

"I've been around"

I nod

"So what's going on between you and Edward?" I ask getting straight to the point.

"What do you mean?" she asks without skipping a beat

You would think she would be surprised or shocked. Then again she might just be use to it I mean Victoria even believed it and called her out on it during the party.

"What I mean is that there are all sorts of rumors going around that you guys are sleeping together."

"Please Jake I thought you knew better" she says sounding bored.

"Yeah well I would ignore them except that your behavior every day at school and at the Halloween party make me doubt"

"I don't know what you mean" she says trying and failing to sound calm.

She starts walking faster but I keep pace easily.

"You know what I mean Alice, don't lie. I thought you were going to get him to spend more time with her, to not completely ignore her but he's hardly around anymore. You don't even bring him around lunch anymore….when you do come that is."

"I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to Jacob" she says angrily.

"Ok fine let's leave that for a second. How about your actions at the Halloween party? You ran to him when you saw how bad he was. You didn't want Bella to be alone with him and what's more you got her away from him the first chance you got by telling her I needed her. And earlier when you guys came down and you saw that Edward was staring at Bella you pulled his attention to you"

"I was helping him! He doesn't want her to know, so it would look weird if he was staring at her don't you think?" she says cocking an eyebrow "and I was concerned when I saw him all bloodied so forgive me for being concerned for a friend! And as for sending her away she looked like she had been crying so yes I did kick her out but that was so I could talk to him. You can even ask Edward" she challenges.

"I will but you would do well to remember that they love each other even now and sooner or later they'll end up together"

"Whatever" she said rolling her eyes and walking away.

I sighed now I had to look for Edward and ask him why the heck Bella was crying luckily for me though he was easy enough to find he was always at the bench close to the library, his and Bella's place.

"Edward" I say sitting down next to him.

"Hello Jacob" he responds

"I was talking to Alice and she mentioned that at the Halloween party, when she came back into the room, she saw Bella and that it looked like she had been crying"

"I knew she'd tell you sooner or later. I….I don't" he sighs "when I came to we started talking and she asked me why I went after James. I didn't want to tell her, I knew she'd be hurt but she coaxed it out of me. I told her how much my heart hurt when I saw her. Thank god she didn't ask who. And as I was explaining it I…I didn't realize it until it was too late but as I was explaining my pain, I know it's going to sound weird to you, but it was as if she could feel it. She started crying that's when I stopped and consoled her. We were hugging when Alice came in. she was pissed because I made Bella cry"

_Yeah I'm not so sure that, that's the reason she was pissed._

"I think you're right" I say "she probably did feel it. You guys have this connection that no matter what you do will not be broken"

"Yeah right. She doesn't even remember our childhood together or all the things we went through." He said sadly.

"You're wrong, she might not remember you but the connection is still there that's why she had a premonition that night at the party"

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

"At the party, we were dancing and having fun then suddenly she starts hyperventilating and sobbing I asked her what's wrong and she tells me that she has this bad feeling that we have to get out. I get the guys to help us look for you guys and next thing we know you're being dragged in. didn't you guys used to have that before?"

He nods.

"See that hasn't changed." I say before walking away.

"Hey Jacob" he calls to me.

I turn and see a huge grin on his face "Thanks for telling me"

"Glad I could be of some help, you look so sad and pathetic now a days it's nice to see you smiling" I say laughing.

He flips me off.

I just laugh harder and leave.

If only that idiot could realize that none of this will change anything then it would save us all a lot of pain.

_Guess this means I have truly given Bella up_

I feel my heart ache a little. Still hurts though.

**BPOV**_  
><em>it's been a month now after the Halloween party. A month since  
>Edwardconfirmed to me that nothing was going on between him and Alice. A month in which Jake and I "broke-up" and say "broke-up" because I have realized that we were never really together; I mean sure he held my hand, and still does, but he never tried anything with me. He never even kissed and went on what like 1 date with me? That wasn't what a relationship was like and so I realized that everything was in my head and he's just a friend I had a crush on.<p>

I've also discovered I'm in love with Edward and I know that makes me not only a bad friend but also a bad person but I just couldn't help it. I'm not even sure how it happened one day I just realized that I loved him. It's been a kind of sweet torture. I don't regret loving him though I mean I do feel bad that I feel this way knowing how Alice feels for him but I… don't regret it. I love him.

Since that discovery I've developed an 'Edward radar'. I can sense him every time he's around which to my disappointment isn't much.

He's pulled even more away if that's even possible.

Lunch though is always a sure thing. He's always there…..along with Alice and the rest.

We all sit in a big group; Alice and Edward always sit side by side. Sometimes I think he doesn't even notice how close she is to him or how she always grabs a hold of his arm when they walk.

He surprises me sometimes by appearing when I least expect him. I can't contain myself then and I smile like an idiot the whole time he's there and afterwards my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

His surprises aren't always pleasant though other times he's more affectionate with her.

I'm all over the place I know I just can't help it! He's driving me crazy! But sadly even though Alice and I love him he doesn't love nor does he care for either one of us he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend. He sometimes has this sad look in his eyes and more often than not there's also pain in his eyes.

Alice and mine's friendship is as good as can be expected which is tense. She still isn't over her suspicions and jealousy and I now have my own jealousy to deal with. I don't know why she would even be jealous of me anyway. She's closer to him than I am.

"Bella wait up" Alice calls

"Hi Alice" I say turning around.

It's weird that she isn't with Edward. Every time I see her now she's with him. I almost ask her where Edward is but decide against it.

"Heading to lunch?"

"Yeah" I say smiling

We walk in silence for a little while.

"ummm so Edward was invited to this masquerade ball and he invited us do you want to go? You and Jake of course"

"I don't know" I say.

_She didn't sound too inviting._

"Oh come on Bella it'll be fun and besides we get to wear ball gowns! How often does that happen?" she says sounding more excited.

"Ummm…"

"Please please please" she pleads

"Ok I'll go but I don't know about Jake though I'll ask him"

"Oh don't worry if you go he goes" she says not concerned at all that he might have plans or something.

We grab our lunch and head to the table, everyone is already there.

"Hey Edward" Alice says going to sit beside him. It's strange that no one sits there beside him even when she isn't there. It's like its reserved or something. "They're going"  
>"Alice!"<p>

"What?" she asks looking completely innocent "I told you already if you go he goes"

I turn to Jake feeling really embarrassed.

"I'm sorry Jake but would you go to the ball with me? If you can't don't worry its ok" I look down red faced. I can't believe Alice just assumed he's going.

"A ball?" he sounds nervous "sure Bella I'll go with you" he says holding my hand reassuringly.

I look up and smile.

"See told you" Alice says smugly.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Leah stand up from our table abruptly and I see Jake follow her with his eyes.

_Oh no what if they had something going on this weekend? What if he just agreed so I wouldn't be embarrassed?_

I have had my suspicions for a while now that Leah loved Jake but it wasn't until recently that I confirmed them. Jake had been spending more and more time with her recently. I was happy that he was happy. I hope I didn't ruin that for him. He deserves to be happy and I know I'm not where his happiness lies.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow after school" Alice says excitedly

I nod

**APOV**

"Alice" Edward says as we're walking to class after lunch

"Yes"

"Make sure her dress is blue, dark blue, maybe even midnight blue that's the best color on her and I haven't seen it on her in a while. She'll look beautiful in it" he smiles and closes his eyes probably envisioning her.

_Control yourself Alice_

I take a deep breath

"I'll do the best I can. I mean it's not like I can force a color on her" I say sounding even to my own ears a bit bitter.

"Are you ok?" he asks finally opening his eyes and looking at me.

"I am it's just that….I don't think I got enough sleep last night"

"You mean you actually sleep?" he says in a mock surprised voice

"Shut up" I say hitting him playfully.

He laughs

"Just don't forget blue" he says before leaving.

I smile and nod

_If I can help it her color will be the farthest from blue as possible. _

**BPOV**

"_Bells" he says_

_I turn around. _

_We were shopping for a birthday present for Alice. He didn't like going shopping but for me he did. He knew how insecure I was about shopping for her._

"_You should buy this one" he says holding a blue V-neck_

"_It's pretty but is there a purple or pink one? I don't think she likes blue" I say._

_It really is a beautiful V-neck._

"_Not for her" he says "for you. This color is my favorite on you it makes you look even more beautiful"_

"_Thanks" I say blushing and looking down_

"_Now come on you have to help me find something for Alice"_

_He sighs_

"_How am I supposed to help? She's your friend not mine"_

"_You guys seem to get along just fine" I say quietly trying to hide the suspicion that's always there. Ever since Angela befriended me to get to Edward I have always been wary of my 'friends' not that I had any, girls generally hated me and stayed away but still there could always be another Angela._

"_We tolerate each other there's a difference" he says holding on to the blue V-neck and starts looking. _

**Please read and review. **

**Sorry about the long wait **


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